Being Used

"Everything is an affair of the spirit. If God has a way of dealing with you in your life, it is the only way. Every little thing in which you wouild have your own way has a mission for your redemption. And He will treat you as a willful little child until you take your Father's way for your own." -George MacDonald

Normally, in the winter, I keep all the barn doors shut all the time. The reason I do this is so that a dumb, pregnant goat or sheep will not wander out into the cold to have her babies in the middle of the night and leave them to freeze. Trust me when I say this has happened to us before. However, I have begun leaving one of the barn doors open during the day.

One day, my husband came into the barn and said, "Why is this door open?"
"So the dogs can go in and out and won't get cornered by a bully-ish goat", I replied.
"But what if one of the females delivers outside and has frozen babies?"
"Well, the dogs need to guard the stock."
"From what?"
"Listen," I say,"I know we don't have the biggest coyote problem, but we're supposedly raising livestock guardian dogs, and how can I legitimately claim that if they've never been tested?"

A light bulb went on in my husband's head in more ways than one. He realized first of all, what I was saying about the door being open; but more importantly, he realized what God was up to in his life.

"I'm being tested," my husband said quietly ,"So my quality may be proven."

The only way to tell the strength something possesses is to test it. I may have a sword on display on my wall and claim it is made of the finest steel, able to slice a man asunder in one swing, but if I haven't tested it, then all my claim is is empty air. What would happen if someone I had boasted to decided to remove the sword from display and attempt to cut a cantaloupe with it only to find that the cantaloupe shattered the sword? Well, I'd be a great fool.

My livestock guardian dogs will be little more than pretty lawn ornaments if they were kept from their job of guarding livestock. In our laziness, we often wish God would shut the door to our responsibilities and let us just lay back and enjoy being his fat companion. However, the world needs a lot of help, and those who have been redeemed were redeemed for a purpose--a huge purpose. When the Lord redeems us, we're not just to be pretty trinkets to put on the shelf of heaven in order to gather dust. We are to be vessels for carrying the very authority and character of God Himself.

If you are being tested, take heart-- God is pulling you from the shelf, grasping your handle, polishing you lovingly, sharpening your edge, and using you for His awesome purpose. I'd much rather be grasped in the Master's hand than to gather dust anyway--even if when he strikes a blow while using me, I get hurt.

"Then I heard the voice of Adonai saying,'Whom should I send? Who will go for us?'
I answered,'I'm here, send me!'" (Isaiah 6:8)

Apathy and cowardice
Have reigned here far too long
I wish that I could see myself
-my self as someone strong

Take my apathy and make it
Ambition for you, Lord
Divorce me from my comfort
With your mighty, piercing sword

Take away my fears, God
Help me take a step of faith
Use me to ignite your spirit
In this wretched place

For You are bigger
Than anything on earth
Lord, break the chains
That hold us to this curse

The Stupid Chicken

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." -1 Corinthians 10:12&13

In the spring, summer and fall, I don't have to haul water buckets out to the barn. In the warmer months, my pond is unfrozen and my animals can tend to their own thirst. However, in the winter months (November through March), I haul about 20 gallons worth of water daily to the barn.

Each morning, as I do this, I see a row of frantic chickens lined up on the edge of the 30 gallon water tub. Each chicken is poised and ready to be the first to stretch down and get the first sip of sparkling, fresh water. The problem arises when they start slipping and sliding because they've stretched too far. Then, they begin flapping madly to regain their balance. In the barrage of flapping, sliding chickens, a few are doomed to be dunked. With as cold as it gets, this is actually a real concern because they could get frostbitten toes or worse.

A few days ago, as I watched this normal display of poultry intelligence, I began to reflect on the Scripture that says, "Take heed lest ye fall..." Basically, the most certain way to make sure you're going to fall is by becoming arrogant (Proverbs 16:18 "Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall"). In my own life, I have most become arrogant in the area of believing I'm impervious to certain sins.

Routinely, I make a mistake of believing that just because I'm about the Lord's business, that God's got my back and I don't need to worry about spiritual warfare. Wrong! Spiritual warfare is likely at it's worst when I'm about the Lord's business! Don't get me wrong-- God totally is watching out for me, but that doesn't mean I should let my sword drag or leave my helmet at home; this makes for a sloppy warrior! I recently have been left with the sensation that I'm reaching too far down to help people and my balance is becoming unsteady. If I fall, I know I'll freak out-- and my freaking out will likely trip up even more people. My feet must be planted firmly and I must walk circumspectly as I help people.

"Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared." -Proverbs 22:24-25

In other words: Don't perch next to the stupid chicken that you know will knock you down...and also, don't be the stupid chicken yourself.

The Beauty of a Barfing Cow

"Blessed is the man whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night." -Psalm 1:2

I remember as a child when I was taught this verse. I was taught that "meditating on the Word" was akin to "ruminating". I vaguely understood what it meant, and so I would open my Bible to read a verse with the vision of a barfing cow in my mind. I would promptly close my Bible and go do something more meaningless, yet soothing.

In my current, deeper walk with the Lord, I refuse to be intimidated by the image of a barfing cow. However, God beckoned me to look deeper into the process of rumination in order to understand why this word is so important in understanding the act of "meditating on the law of the Lord".

When a ruminant (cow, goat, antelope, deer, sheep, etc.) takes a bite of grass, it's only slightly chewed before it's swallowed. Now, grass and brush are coarse fibers that require a lot of breaking down before the body can properly utilize it's nutrients. The first place the grass goes is into the rumen. The rumen is a large fermentation vat. It's loaded with bacteria that breaks down the food and gives off enormous amounts of methane. However, once around isn't enough, so the ruminant will burp up it's cud to be chewed again while it's at rest.

"O my people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter things hidden from of old." -Psalm 78:1&2

After being chewed twice, the cud will pass on into the reticulum. The inside structure of the reticulum looks like a honeycomb. The Word of God, to someone who is searching for truth, is sweeter than honey. In the reticulum, there will be further fermentation to break down the food.

"Whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." -Philippians 4:8

From the reticulum, the cud will now enter into the omasum. The omasum is interesting because it's insides resemble the pages of a book, and it is here that excess liquid is removed and the size of the food is vastly decreased. The book we rely most heavily on is obviously the bible. The bible acts as a filter for all the information we're bombarded with on a daily basis. It is the standard for truth, and anything excess is sponged away when placed next to this awesome plumb line.

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." -2 Timothy 3:16&17

Lastly, there is the abomasum. The abomasum is most like a human stomach as it secretes enzymes that break down the food to it's final stage before hitting the intestines. The abomasum is the stomach that a baby ruminant uses to process it's mother's milk. If the milk goes into any other compartment, it could make the animal very sick. All other compartments must be developed through practice and experience! After a few days of life, a baby ruminant will nibble it's mother's hair, feces, and bits of hay in order to introduce the much needed bacteria and fibers into it's other stomach compartments. As it's tolerance for complex fibers grows, it's first stomach shrinks. Within a couple months, the rumen will grow to be the largest of the four compartments. As much as the abomasum is desperately needed for the first part of it's life, if the ruminant were to continue drinking milk and never develop it's rumen, it's growth would be stunted.

"Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for he mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil." -Hebrews 5:13-14

What we meditate on and take into our inmost parts, will come back up and onto our tongues. What we continue to swallow, will one day come out of us, and we will show the world what it is we have been meditating upon. Ruminate on the Word of God. Don't quickly glaze over some passages or mindlessly recite them. These are the oracles of our Creator! Take time to really digest them, and speak them, and live them. Remember, what you put in your "think tank", will pass onto your "doo tank".

"Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." -Philippians 4:9

"If you read quickly, it will benefit you little. You will be like a bee that merely skims the surface of a flower. Instead, in this new way of reading with prayer, you must become as the bee who penetrates into the depths of the flower. You plunge deeply within to remove the deepest nectar." -Madame Guyon

The Short Leash

"A person whose desire rests on you, you preserve in perfect peace, because he trusts in you. Trust in Adonai forever, because the Lord Himself is the Rock Eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4

Recently, we purchased a new dog. He's a lovely little five month old great pyrenees puppy. His name is Caleb, and he's never had a leash on him before.

When I first met him, his owner carried him from the barn to me. I was sort of curious about this as he was a hefty 50 lb boy. After I clipped a leash on him, I realized why his owner carried him. He sat down, planted his feet, and thrashed his head from side to side while trying to chew the leash.

"This will not do," I thought to myself, and I proceeded to train him to walk with me. Always, I'd give him the opportunity to walk nicely, but as soon as he'd plant himself on the ground, I'd hold the leash a mere 4 inches from his collar and literally drag him. I'd stop every five or six feet to let him catch his breath before we'd try again. As soon as he'd walk nicely, I'd hold the leash normally again and we'd be on our merry way.

Watching Caleb balk at the leash reminded me tremendously to how I viewed a walk with God for my younger years. I was all too ready to receive the blessings of God and all the affection associated with being His beloved daughter without the responsibility of learning how to yield to his way. In my heart and with the decisions I made with how to run my life, I was planting my obstinate butt on the ground and digging in my nails. If I was going to go God's way, He was going to have to MAKE me!

I'm pleased to say that I've learned the beauty in yielding to God's way of doing things. I trust that where He wants to lead me is the best way to go. I know that sometimes I whine and grit my teeth as He pulls me in what I perceive to be the wrong direction, but I'm happy to say that I am not obstinate for obstinacy's sake. The Lord had to shorten my leash for years until I learned that suffocating myself was far worse than giving up my selfish will.

"But you would not go up. Instead, you rebelled against the order of Adonai your God; and in your tents you complained,'It's because Adonai hated us that he has brought us out of the land of Egypt, only to hand us over to the Emori to destroy us. What sort of place is it that we're heading for? Our brothers made our courage fail when they said, "The people are bigger and taller than we are; the cities are great and fortified up to the sky; and finally, we have seen Anakim there."' I answered you, 'Don't be fearful, don't be afraid of them. Adonai your God, who is going ahead of you, will fight on your behalf, just as he accomplished all those things for you in Egypt before your eyes, and likewise in the desert, where you saw how Adonai your God carried you, like a man carries his child, along the entire way you traveled until you arrived at this place. Yet in this matter you don't trust Adonai your God, even though he went ahead of you, seeking out places for you to pitch your tents and showing you which way to go, by fire at night and by a cloud during the day.'" (Deuteronomy 1:26-33)

The Israelites had the benefit of seeing how good and faithful God was, but they still didn't trust Him to lead them. They wanted to plant their furry butts on the ground and thrash at the end of the leash held by a wonderfully loving and forgiving God. This so hurt and infuriated God that He swore that the complaining, distrusting generation wouldn't see the promised land.

Good things are in store for those who yield willingly to the Lord's leading. If God can trust you on a short leash, He will lengthen it until you (in your freedom) will serve Him at the end of a long leash. At the end of this leash, there are many awesome things that God has been waiting to be able to entrust us with.

Luke 16:10 says, "Someone who is trustworthy in a small matter is also trustworthy in large ones."

Now, as our dear friend, the Apostle Paul says, "May God, the source of hope, fill you completely with joy and peace as you continue trusting, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may overflow with hope." (Romans 15:13) Ah, how pleasant it is to hope and trust in our Rock Eternal!

I Was a Wandering Sheep

I was a wandering sheep,
I did not love the fold;
I did not love my Shepherd's voice,
I would not be controlled:

I was a wayward child,
I did not love my home;
I did not love my Father's voice,
I loved afar to roam.

The Shepherd sought His sheep,
The Father sought His child;
He followed me o'er vale and hill,
O'er deserts waste and wild:

He found me nigh to death,
Famished and faint and lone;
He bound me with the bands of love,
He saved the wand'ring one.

Jesus my Shepherd is;
'Twas Hethat loved my soul,
'Twas He that washed me in His blood,
'Twas He that made me whole;

'Twas He that sought the lost,
That found the wand'ring sheep;
'Twas He that bro't me to the fold,
'Tis He that still doth keep.

No more a wand'ring sheep,
I love to be controlled;
I love my tender Shepherd's voice,
I love the peaceful fold:

No more a wayward child,
I seek no more to roam;
I love my heav'nly Father's voice,
I love, I love His name!

~Horatius Bonar (1857)& J. Zundel(1815-1882)

Feed From Your Own Trough

Ecclesiastes 5:19-20 says, "When God gives any man wealth and possession, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work--this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart."


No matter what I feed my goats-- whether hay or grain-- they suffer daily from a particular folly. Their deeply desired food will fall in plenteousness like manna from the heavens before their eager faces, and they will lower their heads to enjoy. However, after only a few seconds of enjoying their food, they will lift their head, look at their neighbor enjoying their food, and proceed to abandon their share to go after their neighbor's. When they sample a mouthful of their neighbor's food, they realize it tastes about the same as what they were enjoying before, so they attempt to return to their previous feeding spot. However, as they had moved on, their space that was vacant became filled by another hungry goat, so their previous share is no longer available. So the stage is set for a mad shoving match for the tastiest bite in the barn.

Proverbs 23:4-5 says, "Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint. Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle."

Nothing we could ever acquire will satisfy us. If our deepest satisfaction is not found in God, then we will constantly find ourselves lifting our head to observe our neighbor's level of delight. God alone holds us all in His hand, and by His will alone will all things come to pass. He provides for our every need; and if our delight is in Him, we will find all that our redeemed heart desires will appear in perfect timing. The portion that is enjoyed by our friends and neighbors is their portion. It was never meant for us. Desiring it will only poison our hearts.

"The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." (Psalm 16:4-6)

Enjoy all that was given to you, because it was a gift from a loving Father. It was made just for you and no one else. Desire nothing that hasn't poured directly from the Hand of God, because anything gained in a sinful way will not satisfy you. Be content even with who are as a person, because you are fearfully and wonderfully made and all that you are was deliberately formed by your omniscient Maker.

Why can't I be the sky?
Why can't I be alone
And never desire to fly?
The beauty, the passion,
The tantalizing colors...
Why is the sky
Something that I
Will have to long to be?

Or what is the sea?
Floating, falling,
And deep as can be;
The beauty, the passion,
The vast, tumbling bowl of life...
O, what is the sea?
And what is me?
And why am I not it?

What could be the earth?
Stable and loving;
The foundation of all birth?
The beauty, the passion,
The beginning and the end...
I wonder of the earth--
Full of mourning and such mirth!
Of this I will never know.

Why am I not a star?
Bright and quick
And spirited they are!
The beauty, the passion,
The blink of all eyes...
The arms of a star
Are reaching so far,
Yet I can never reach it's fingers.

I often wonder, 'What am I?'
Am I here for a moment
Just to say goodbye?
The beauty, the passion
Of an ever-fleeting thought...
What is the point of I?
A hello and a goodbye--
There must be something more to be!

Twinkle, twinkle, little star!
And splash, you waves, wherever you are!
Be full of life, you hardy planet!
And bloom, O tree, wherever you're planted.


And smile, beloved creature, for there is nothing more aside from Christ that our heart could ever desire! It is finished, and He is enough....He is my portion forever!

Thy Name

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one." (Deuteronomy 6:4)

The Oxford American College Dictionary defines the word 'name' as meaning "a word or set of words by which a person, animal, place, or thing is called."

The name of the slaughterhouse I take my animals to is Mahan's Packing. Recently, I called ahead of time to let them know I was bringing in a cow and four goats after hours, so would they please leave out tags for me to tag my animals for the morning kill? I left them my name and spelled it twice to make sure they would get it right.

The next evening, I showed up with my trailer loaded with livestock and found my envelope with tags left out for me. However, they misspelled my name grossly. My name is spelled Adrienne Michelson, but these name tags were made out to an Adren Mickelson. Although horribly misspelled, I knew these tags were meant for me. I suppose I could have acted huffily and thrown the tags into the snow in righteous indignation over the heinous disrespect to my name, but that'd hardly be good of me. That'd be awfully arrogant, immature and destructive to myself. Without those tags, my animals wouldn't be properly marked, so I'd lose them in the slaughterhouse and never see their meat. For the most part, I'd like to think I wouldn't shoot myself in the foot so badly for the sake of pride.

Some people seem to think that God only answers to one name. I've heard debate after debate on the true name of God, and I'm thoroughly unimpressed. I've been rebuked for saying the word "God" in reference to Him because it's too generic. I've been rebuked for saying "Lord" because it was also used to refer to Beelzebub. I've been rebuked for saying "Jehovah" because it literally means "god of destruction". I've been rebuked for saying "Jesus" because that is not likely what his name was. Purists will tell you that God must be called either Yahweh or Elohim and that Jesus must be called Yeshua. They are convinced that any other name is a disrespect to Him.

I beg to differ! Even if we completely mess up what God's name really is, He knows who we're talking to; even as I knew that those tags which bore a butchered version of my name were meant for me. A wicked man may call his wicked wife "honey", and my good husband may call me by the same name; the name is not defiled because a wicked man referred to his wicked wife by it. I am still my good husband's "honey"! By the very character of God, He cannot be so arrogant as to turn a deaf ear to someone who is earnestly seeking Him. Also, He is not so ignorant as to not understand when someone is calling out a name that is not in Hebrew.

You will know who the God of Adrienne is by what she does and does not do. I follow the same God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob-- the God of Israel-- of King David, of Paul, and of Jesus himself who was One with Him. If what I do bears witness as truth in your heart, then we are of one accord and our God (who is called by many names, because He is I AM) is One and the same!

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are One." (John 10:27-30)

My dear friends, I do not have the time to recount all of the names of God listed in Scripture. Though all of these names, the Lord our God is One!