The Short Leash

"A person whose desire rests on you, you preserve in perfect peace, because he trusts in you. Trust in Adonai forever, because the Lord Himself is the Rock Eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4

Recently, we purchased a new dog. He's a lovely little five month old great pyrenees puppy. His name is Caleb, and he's never had a leash on him before.

When I first met him, his owner carried him from the barn to me. I was sort of curious about this as he was a hefty 50 lb boy. After I clipped a leash on him, I realized why his owner carried him. He sat down, planted his feet, and thrashed his head from side to side while trying to chew the leash.

"This will not do," I thought to myself, and I proceeded to train him to walk with me. Always, I'd give him the opportunity to walk nicely, but as soon as he'd plant himself on the ground, I'd hold the leash a mere 4 inches from his collar and literally drag him. I'd stop every five or six feet to let him catch his breath before we'd try again. As soon as he'd walk nicely, I'd hold the leash normally again and we'd be on our merry way.

Watching Caleb balk at the leash reminded me tremendously to how I viewed a walk with God for my younger years. I was all too ready to receive the blessings of God and all the affection associated with being His beloved daughter without the responsibility of learning how to yield to his way. In my heart and with the decisions I made with how to run my life, I was planting my obstinate butt on the ground and digging in my nails. If I was going to go God's way, He was going to have to MAKE me!

I'm pleased to say that I've learned the beauty in yielding to God's way of doing things. I trust that where He wants to lead me is the best way to go. I know that sometimes I whine and grit my teeth as He pulls me in what I perceive to be the wrong direction, but I'm happy to say that I am not obstinate for obstinacy's sake. The Lord had to shorten my leash for years until I learned that suffocating myself was far worse than giving up my selfish will.

"But you would not go up. Instead, you rebelled against the order of Adonai your God; and in your tents you complained,'It's because Adonai hated us that he has brought us out of the land of Egypt, only to hand us over to the Emori to destroy us. What sort of place is it that we're heading for? Our brothers made our courage fail when they said, "The people are bigger and taller than we are; the cities are great and fortified up to the sky; and finally, we have seen Anakim there."' I answered you, 'Don't be fearful, don't be afraid of them. Adonai your God, who is going ahead of you, will fight on your behalf, just as he accomplished all those things for you in Egypt before your eyes, and likewise in the desert, where you saw how Adonai your God carried you, like a man carries his child, along the entire way you traveled until you arrived at this place. Yet in this matter you don't trust Adonai your God, even though he went ahead of you, seeking out places for you to pitch your tents and showing you which way to go, by fire at night and by a cloud during the day.'" (Deuteronomy 1:26-33)

The Israelites had the benefit of seeing how good and faithful God was, but they still didn't trust Him to lead them. They wanted to plant their furry butts on the ground and thrash at the end of the leash held by a wonderfully loving and forgiving God. This so hurt and infuriated God that He swore that the complaining, distrusting generation wouldn't see the promised land.

Good things are in store for those who yield willingly to the Lord's leading. If God can trust you on a short leash, He will lengthen it until you (in your freedom) will serve Him at the end of a long leash. At the end of this leash, there are many awesome things that God has been waiting to be able to entrust us with.

Luke 16:10 says, "Someone who is trustworthy in a small matter is also trustworthy in large ones."

Now, as our dear friend, the Apostle Paul says, "May God, the source of hope, fill you completely with joy and peace as you continue trusting, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may overflow with hope." (Romans 15:13) Ah, how pleasant it is to hope and trust in our Rock Eternal!

I Was a Wandering Sheep

I was a wandering sheep,
I did not love the fold;
I did not love my Shepherd's voice,
I would not be controlled:

I was a wayward child,
I did not love my home;
I did not love my Father's voice,
I loved afar to roam.

The Shepherd sought His sheep,
The Father sought His child;
He followed me o'er vale and hill,
O'er deserts waste and wild:

He found me nigh to death,
Famished and faint and lone;
He bound me with the bands of love,
He saved the wand'ring one.

Jesus my Shepherd is;
'Twas Hethat loved my soul,
'Twas He that washed me in His blood,
'Twas He that made me whole;

'Twas He that sought the lost,
That found the wand'ring sheep;
'Twas He that bro't me to the fold,
'Tis He that still doth keep.

No more a wand'ring sheep,
I love to be controlled;
I love my tender Shepherd's voice,
I love the peaceful fold:

No more a wayward child,
I seek no more to roam;
I love my heav'nly Father's voice,
I love, I love His name!

~Horatius Bonar (1857)& J. Zundel(1815-1882)

Feed From Your Own Trough

Ecclesiastes 5:19-20 says, "When God gives any man wealth and possession, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work--this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart."


No matter what I feed my goats-- whether hay or grain-- they suffer daily from a particular folly. Their deeply desired food will fall in plenteousness like manna from the heavens before their eager faces, and they will lower their heads to enjoy. However, after only a few seconds of enjoying their food, they will lift their head, look at their neighbor enjoying their food, and proceed to abandon their share to go after their neighbor's. When they sample a mouthful of their neighbor's food, they realize it tastes about the same as what they were enjoying before, so they attempt to return to their previous feeding spot. However, as they had moved on, their space that was vacant became filled by another hungry goat, so their previous share is no longer available. So the stage is set for a mad shoving match for the tastiest bite in the barn.

Proverbs 23:4-5 says, "Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint. Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone, for they will surely sprout wings and fly off to the sky like an eagle."

Nothing we could ever acquire will satisfy us. If our deepest satisfaction is not found in God, then we will constantly find ourselves lifting our head to observe our neighbor's level of delight. God alone holds us all in His hand, and by His will alone will all things come to pass. He provides for our every need; and if our delight is in Him, we will find all that our redeemed heart desires will appear in perfect timing. The portion that is enjoyed by our friends and neighbors is their portion. It was never meant for us. Desiring it will only poison our hearts.

"The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on my lips. Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance." (Psalm 16:4-6)

Enjoy all that was given to you, because it was a gift from a loving Father. It was made just for you and no one else. Desire nothing that hasn't poured directly from the Hand of God, because anything gained in a sinful way will not satisfy you. Be content even with who are as a person, because you are fearfully and wonderfully made and all that you are was deliberately formed by your omniscient Maker.

Why can't I be the sky?
Why can't I be alone
And never desire to fly?
The beauty, the passion,
The tantalizing colors...
Why is the sky
Something that I
Will have to long to be?

Or what is the sea?
Floating, falling,
And deep as can be;
The beauty, the passion,
The vast, tumbling bowl of life...
O, what is the sea?
And what is me?
And why am I not it?

What could be the earth?
Stable and loving;
The foundation of all birth?
The beauty, the passion,
The beginning and the end...
I wonder of the earth--
Full of mourning and such mirth!
Of this I will never know.

Why am I not a star?
Bright and quick
And spirited they are!
The beauty, the passion,
The blink of all eyes...
The arms of a star
Are reaching so far,
Yet I can never reach it's fingers.

I often wonder, 'What am I?'
Am I here for a moment
Just to say goodbye?
The beauty, the passion
Of an ever-fleeting thought...
What is the point of I?
A hello and a goodbye--
There must be something more to be!

Twinkle, twinkle, little star!
And splash, you waves, wherever you are!
Be full of life, you hardy planet!
And bloom, O tree, wherever you're planted.


And smile, beloved creature, for there is nothing more aside from Christ that our heart could ever desire! It is finished, and He is enough....He is my portion forever!

Thy Name

"Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one." (Deuteronomy 6:4)

The Oxford American College Dictionary defines the word 'name' as meaning "a word or set of words by which a person, animal, place, or thing is called."

The name of the slaughterhouse I take my animals to is Mahan's Packing. Recently, I called ahead of time to let them know I was bringing in a cow and four goats after hours, so would they please leave out tags for me to tag my animals for the morning kill? I left them my name and spelled it twice to make sure they would get it right.

The next evening, I showed up with my trailer loaded with livestock and found my envelope with tags left out for me. However, they misspelled my name grossly. My name is spelled Adrienne Michelson, but these name tags were made out to an Adren Mickelson. Although horribly misspelled, I knew these tags were meant for me. I suppose I could have acted huffily and thrown the tags into the snow in righteous indignation over the heinous disrespect to my name, but that'd hardly be good of me. That'd be awfully arrogant, immature and destructive to myself. Without those tags, my animals wouldn't be properly marked, so I'd lose them in the slaughterhouse and never see their meat. For the most part, I'd like to think I wouldn't shoot myself in the foot so badly for the sake of pride.

Some people seem to think that God only answers to one name. I've heard debate after debate on the true name of God, and I'm thoroughly unimpressed. I've been rebuked for saying the word "God" in reference to Him because it's too generic. I've been rebuked for saying "Lord" because it was also used to refer to Beelzebub. I've been rebuked for saying "Jehovah" because it literally means "god of destruction". I've been rebuked for saying "Jesus" because that is not likely what his name was. Purists will tell you that God must be called either Yahweh or Elohim and that Jesus must be called Yeshua. They are convinced that any other name is a disrespect to Him.

I beg to differ! Even if we completely mess up what God's name really is, He knows who we're talking to; even as I knew that those tags which bore a butchered version of my name were meant for me. A wicked man may call his wicked wife "honey", and my good husband may call me by the same name; the name is not defiled because a wicked man referred to his wicked wife by it. I am still my good husband's "honey"! By the very character of God, He cannot be so arrogant as to turn a deaf ear to someone who is earnestly seeking Him. Also, He is not so ignorant as to not understand when someone is calling out a name that is not in Hebrew.

You will know who the God of Adrienne is by what she does and does not do. I follow the same God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob-- the God of Israel-- of King David, of Paul, and of Jesus himself who was One with Him. If what I do bears witness as truth in your heart, then we are of one accord and our God (who is called by many names, because He is I AM) is One and the same!

"My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand. I and the Father are One." (John 10:27-30)

My dear friends, I do not have the time to recount all of the names of God listed in Scripture. Though all of these names, the Lord our God is One!

When Not to Have a Heart

Like any rural dweller, I have a collection of Hav-a-Heart traps. Generally, there are two types of people who own such traps: either the ones who catch and release, or catch and decease! I, for one, am of the category of people who catch a varmint and dispose of it either in the pond or let my dear husband shoot it with his .22 rifle.

I don't judge the people who catch troublesome, chicken-killing raccoons or disease-ridden opossums only to release them on some other poor sap's land, because I understand that their soft hearts are getting the best of them. However, there is a kind of varmint that should never be released when caught. I am speaking of demons.

"When an evil spirit comes out of a man, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, 'I will return to the house I left.' When it arrives, it finds the house unoccupied, swept clean, and put in order. Then it goes and takes with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first." (Matthew 12:43-45)

Many times, I encounter Christians who will struggle with a demonic issue. Let us say that the issue is lying, and the Christian compulsively lies even though he knows it's wrong. He wants to be free and cannot battle this demon of lying on his own. Out of a desire for deliverance, he cries out to God to free him, and in response to his broken-hearted cry, God "catches the varmint" for him. So now, he stands freed from his issue and Lying is in a cage. What will he do?

Many, many, many Christians I know will take a "hav-a-heart" approach to spiritual warfare and will believe the best of the Devil, not realizing that getting caught once is not going to "teach him a lesson" about messing with you. If you release this demon from his trap, believing your issue is done with, you may find that it is much like setting a greedy raccoon loose who has had a taste of your chickens. That raccoon may run off for a day or two, frightened from his encounter, but he will get hungry again. If he comes back to your land to find that you've done nothing to change your defenses, he will find a way back into your land to continue to ravage your flock. He may even live to tell his other raccoon buddies where the feast is, and you may be worse off than before.

As it is with greedy raccoons, so it is with demons. Jesus warns that they are prone to want to come back to you once you've "caught and released" them. If you've done nothing to build up your defenses, you will find yourself in a position worse than your original one. Deliverance and freedom are areas to never joke around in or ever let down your guard. Those demons will want to come back, and they will tell their friends where the great feast is. Build your walls high, check for chinks in your armor, and station a watch post (have accountability).

I know that we cannot drown a demon in the pond, shoot them, or even kill them at all. This is why we need to take such a serious approach to maintaining our spiritual freedom. Imagine a chicken farmer living in a land with giant, highly intelligen,immortal, rabid raccoons (yikes!). How dull of mind the farmer would be who would not diligently work to protect his livlihood in the midst of that!

The world, the flesh and the Devil will be here longing to destroy you until the day you are declared victorious and called into Eternal Retirement. "Well done, good and faithful servant," will say our Lord when we arrive after guarding what He has given us.

"To live in ignorance of spiritual warfare is the most naive and dangerous thing a person can do. It's like skipping through the worst part of town late at night, waving your wallet over your head. It's like walking into an Al-Qaida training camp, wearing an 'I love the United States' t-shirt. It's like swimming with great white sharks, dressed as a wounded sea lion and smeared with blood." -John Elderedge 'Waking the Dead'

"Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession the the presence of many witnesses." (1 Timothy 6:11-12)

I call myself a Christian, and I claim that Christ has made me whole. I will eat of that fruit of my mouth (my proclamation of faith) and experience that which Christ died to share with me. I will show no mercy to my enemy, for he will surely show me none. When my time is done, I shall be able to truthfully say:

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day--and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing." (2 Timothy 4:7-8)

Moving Mountains

"I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to the mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." -Matthew 17:20


I'll be the first to admit that when Jesus says in the Gospels, "I tell you the truth...", I will theologically agree with Him. However, my heart has the audacity to question Him. I do not have great faith. I sometimes wonder of my faith would even be the size of a mustard seed. Perhaps my faith wouldn't even fill the belly of a gnat.

My God is still greater (inside and out) that my failure of a mustard seed. If faith the size of a mustard seed can move a mountain, that's great. Personally, I haven't needed any mountains moved; they seem pretty fine right where they are. However, I've needed hearts changed, diseases cured, favor granted, protection provided, etc. Somehow, my gnat's belly of faith seems not even adequate for this. God is still greater.

God proved this point to me profoundly through my goat. I have a pretty LaMancha doe named Milky Way who was a delight to milk this year. She steadily provided a gallon per day for several months on end. However, into her fourth month of lactation, she developed a horrible case of mastitis. Instead of producing milk, she began to only pass blood clots from her udder. As has been my custom, I laid hands on her and prayed for her healing. However, I had a friend who only weeks earlier had to send in her best Alpine doe to the butcher because she had a bad case of mastitis, too. I didn't really have much faith that Milky Way would be healed. I put her in with the other goats and stopped trying to milk her or treat her altogether. Cases of mastitis like this rarely heal, so I began to plan on having her butchered once her udder dried out completely.

After a week of passing her by on milking, I found her standing at the gate one morning, bawling. I looked at her and realized her udder was enormous. I let her out and she happily trotted to the milk stand. I washed down her udder and had my antibacterial soap ready because I was fully expecting her normal blood clots to come out. To my amazement, nothing but sweet, foamy milk came out and filled my pail. Again, that evening-- pure milk. I continued milking her for another three months before drying her out.

You see, it's not my faith that moves mountains-- it's my God. Instances like this simply grow my faith so that I trust God in the future to be my mountain mover. When I trust Him, we are more intimate--that is why faith is so important--it's not because faith actually (in and of itself) does anything.

My friend, I tell you the truth-- God is big; God is good. Faith in Him can only bring you closer to His heart. Watch mountains move, darkness flee, trees clap hands, and rocks cry out-- God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

"Our hope is that, as your faith continues to grow, our area of activity among you will greatly expand, so that we can preach the gospel in the regions beyond you. For we do not want to boast about work already done in another man's territory. But, 'Let him who boasts boast in the Lord'. For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends." -2 Corinthians 10:15-18

For Such A Wad As I

Prior to now, I've always made my soaps with a vegetable base. My soap's been made from goat milk, coconut oil and olive oil. Now, I'm attempting to make it cheaper by using animal fat instead of coconut oil. I found myself humbled by walking into a butcher's shop, asking for a box of fat.

In order to make the fat suitable for soap-making, it must be rendered. To render it, I must put it over heat and boil it so that the impurities will separate from the pure fat. After the fat liquefies, it is then put through my filter to catch any tidbits that would likely rot the bar of soap or just make your bathing experience less pleasurable (impurities like sinew, veins, meat chunks, hair, etc).

Lifting the lid to my stock pot, sniffing the smell of burning fat, and watching this squishy mass of blubber melt, I contemplate that this nasty blob will soon serve to be an agent of cleansing. It's raw form bears no resemblance to it's finished product. The finished product will be creamy, smooth, sudsy, and smelling like a wonderful something-- lavender? rosemary? Anything but burning cow fat, right?

When I walked into the Kingdom of God, I was about as refined as a dirty hunk of beef suet. God didn't care. He humbles Himself daily to work with me--to refine me. Lifting the lid of His work in progress, I doubt I smell very good! Somehow, though, He finds the smell of my purification to be as sweet as incense, because He knows what I'm becoming. Perhaps, I'm becoming uglier and uglier all the time in the eyes of someone who doesn't know what God is up to with me. He knows. I sort of know. I know that in the end, I will not resemble the dirty wad of grossness that first came to the Throne asking to be made into something of use.

"Thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life." (2 Corinthians 2:14-16)

Do not worry of what others may think of you during your unpleasant refining process. Man looks at the outward, but God looks at the inward.

"Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Suess

Hallelujah to the King of Kings, who was and is and is to come. Praise Him for my uncomfortable, ugly refining process. All glory to Him for what I'm to be one day. Skim out my impurities, drain away my excess, mold me and make me beautiful and useful! Oh Lord, I trust you. You are the Author and Finisher of my faith. You will make beauty from my ashes, and the filthy rags of my righteousness will be burned up so you may adorn me as your Beloved.


"I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The Lord is our God.'" (Zechariah 13:9)

A Nourishing Life

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down his life for his friends." (John 15:13)

There are some who would dispute me, but I do not believe animals are capable of love. I believe that they can interpret affection, and I believe they can conjure a sense of loyalty, but I do not believe that they can experience love. Love is so deep, so intricate, so impenetrable and indecipherable by human minds, that I cannot believe that a base creature like an animal can love.

However, there is much I can learn as the clock ticks toward the end of the life of one of our animals headed to the butcher. It is clear that they do not understand mortality; and because of this, they experience no fear or anxiety leading up to their "D-Day". As I prepare to load the cow up the ramp into the truck headed for the slaughterhouse, I ponder what it means to die for the sake of another. My cow is dying for the sake of nourishing me, though he doesn't know it. How much more valuable is it if a person can truly count the cost and willingly lay down his life for someone else and for their benefit?

Jesus is my supreme example of selflessness. He tried to foreshadow to his disciples what it meant that he was about to do for them by dying. At the Last Supper, he claimed that his body would be broken for them and his blood be spilled for them. He then encouraged them to eat his body and drink his blood. They were likely used to Jesus befuddling them, so they probably just went along with what he was saying without fully comprehending what he was communicating.

Jesus's body was broken to nourish us. When we partake of his flesh, we join in his fellowship of suffering. We experience his love inside of us and it compels us to share it with a lost and dying world, just as he did. Jesus is true manna--the Bread of Life-- broken in that fellowship, shared with us so that we may grow spiritually as the Body of Christ. This is a great mystery for those who have never known Jesus or shared in His fellowship of suffering. Truly, it is still rather a mystery even to me; but I have tasted and seen how good Jesus is. His life was a sacrifice for me, and now (out of love) my life is returned to him.

Jesus's blood was spilled for us. Life was not so precious to him that he was willing we should be separated from the Father for eternity. Brothers and sisters-- his sweet blood was spilled...and I know it hurt coming out. Drink up. His life is now your life. It's all for you. His blood runs down and spells out our names. In Genesis, Abel's innocent blood cried out from the ground; it cried for justice. How much more did the innocent Lamb of God's blood cry out? "Father," it said, "Forgive them, for they know not what they're doing." The most perfect and beautiful justice came into being when we were justified before a Holy God because of what Jesus did.

"Mercy, Mercy," screams my blood,
Poured out on the Mercy Seat.
Mercy, Mercy on all mankind--
I was one of them.

Sickness and heartache dwell
In their withering flesh.
Mercy, Mercy on all mankind--
I was one of them.

Hear me pleading, hear me groan--
Let them not be punished.
"Mercy, Mercy," screams my blood--
I was one of them.

These scars are speaking for my brothers
Still bound up in their skins.
Mercy, Mercy on all mankind;
I was one of them.

From me poured the payment
For their wickedness.
"Mercy, Mercy," screams my blood--
I was one of them.

Father, you are holy and just--
Look upon the blood I shed.
Mercy, Mercy on all mankind--
I was one of them.

For all time, the penalty of our sin was paid. We now have the privilege to die daily by walking in the footsteps of the Messiah. We can choose to make our life a nourishing one for those who will follow after us. Do we love others enough to forsake our preferences and rights? Can we count the cost...and still make the right decision? There is mercy enough to cover our mistakes--now let us make our lives a fragrant and beautiful sacrifice. May my very life-blood spell out the names of those I love; and may everyone's names-- from my friends to my enemies-- be found written upon my heart.

A Renegade From the Fold

Sturdy fences are a must. Unfortunately, I don't really have sturdy fences. Many things have broken them down in time. There have been goats that stick their heads through and push with all of their might to reach the farthest blade of grass outside of it, thusly making it sag badly. There have been horses rubbing their enormous rear ends on the posts to scratch a pesky itch, and so the posts now lean. There have been adventurous baby goats that try to crawl through, but get stuck and make me have to cut them out, thusly leaving large holes. There have been deer jumping the fences in order to come drink from our pond, and jumping back out in a hurry to not get caught in the line of fire, creating a problem with ripping the fences clear off the posts at the top.

Because my fences are less than ideal, sometimes I will have a goat get out. This is a problem, because my neighbor has a large garden that he labors extensively over and it's the first thing my goats want to enjoy.

The first couple times I found a goat out of the fence, I panicked and ran after it--big mistake. Seeing a person running at them make them freak out and bolt. If I were to successfully catch my renegade goat, I would need to approach it as if nothing were out of the ordinary. The more nonchalant I could manage to be, the more likely it was that I could catch the goat quickly.

When a brother or sister strays from the fold, I've found that panicking and running after them screaming biblical rebukes might be the last thing you should do if you want them to be returned to the fold. One emotional reaction usually begets another. Speaking gentle truth and approaching in a way to not stir up fear or defensiveness is far more effective.

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." (Proverbs 15:1)

It's hard, I know, when we care so much about what happens to our loved ones, to not get emotional about it. In the end, though, everything and everyone belongs to God and He will have His will done. He desires that none should perish, but that all would come to His saving knowledge-- but that's not going to happen and He knows it. Oh, we'll all know who He is someday, but that day will come too late for many. In the meantime, we will be His faithful fishers of men, stewards of souls, ambassadors for truth, and servants of righteousness. We labor for the Master and return wandering sheep to the fold one by one as best as we can. We must trust God with the results.

So we'll labor, but we'll do so wisely. We'll guard our hearts to make sure we don't carry out a spiritual duty in the flesh. Remember that once they're outside of the fold, they're already feeling insecure as it is--even though they are exhilarated with their new-found "freedom". It's very easy to make them flee in the wrong direction if we come to them in the wrong way.

"Be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves."(Matthew 10:16b)

Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wandering from the fold of God;
He to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood.

Pretty Piggy

"Like a gold ring in the snout of a pig is a beautiful woman who lacks good sense." (Proverbs 11:22)

As a woman who bore a nose ring for a large portion of her adult years, all I can say is: "Oink". For many years, I didn't spare myself of any chance to try to decorate myself. I had a box of jewelry, a closet full of clothes I was never satisfied with, a five pound box filled with makeup choices, and a heart that dragged upon the ground and risked getting stepped upon by my own feet.

Why did I outwardly adorn myself if I felt so ugly inside? If only my true ugliness were as blatant as a sow's bristly hide and beady eyes. Perhaps then, I would have understood how ridiculous it was to try to play the beauty when I was not one. Perhaps, I wouldn't have wasted as much time in deception.

Like a pig, I ingested garbage and slop on a daily basis and tried to pass it off as good for me. Like a pig, I rolled in mud and filth. Like a pig, I was vicious and unpredictable around people. And like a pig, I was little more than a scavenger for what delight I could find.

Pigs, in Biblical times among the Israelites, were very taboo critters. Pigs are about the only livestock that Provision Farm has not housed at any point. Pigs are very dirty for many reasons. Did you know that pigs literally are so full of toxins that their bodies cannot process them all and they are equipped with a "pus canal" that runs down their hocks to drain bodily poisons? Did you also know that pigs can can eat vipers and rattlesnakes and not die? Pigs are not beautiful, and they're just plain gross on many levels.

We all, before Jesus changed us, were much like pigs. Any attempts we made to make ourselves acceptable and lovable in the eyes of God were ridiculous before we were transformed by Him. God saw our ugliness; He was not deceived. And one must wonder if all of our cries of "Lord! Lord!" sounded like little more than pitiful squeals in the courts of Heaven when we acted like pigs while trying to pass ourselves off as beautiful.

"For by a single offering he has brought to the goal for all time those who are being set apart for God and made holy...Now where there is forgiveness for these, an offering for sins is no longer needed. So, brothers, we have confidence to use the way into the Holiest Place opened by the blood of Jesus. He inaugurated it for us as a new and living way through the curtain, by means of his flesh. We also have a great priest over God's household. Therefore, let us approach the Holiest Place with a sincere heart, in the full assurance that comes from trusting--with our hearts sprinkled clean from a bad conscience and our bodies washed with pure water." (Hebrews 10:14&18-22)

So, Christ has made me new. I'm not unclean and I'm not a pig anymore. I'm acceptable and I can walk into His Throne Room trusting that He will lay His scepter to me in favor. Why then, should I worry about how I appear? Now that Christ has begun transforming me from the inside out, I am enough. There is nothing I can add to me to make me more beautiful than I am.

Lady, a better Sculptor far
Chiseled those curves you smudge and mar;
And God did more than lipstick can
To justify your mouth to man.

C.S. Lewis

This is no criticism to those who wear makeup, wear jewelry, or have nice clothes. This is a reminder to those who think that adornment will somehow make them more beautiful than they already are in Christ that they cannot achieve what they are after. If your spirit has not been redeemed, and if your mind has not been renewed, and if your heart has not been cleansed, and if your tongue is not submitted to God's holiness, then whatever you are doing to try to appear beautiful is ridiculous. If God has transformed you as He did for me, then know that whatever you decorate yourself with will not justify you; it will only accentuate the beauty that only He can make.

A Poisoned Apple

"Bless Adonai, my soul! Everything in me, bless his holy name! Bless Adonai, my soul, and forget none of his benefits! He forgives all your offenses, he heals all your diseases, he redeems your life from the pit, he surrounds you with grace and compassion, he contents you with good as long as you live, so that your youth is renewed like an eagle's." -Psalm 103:1-2

Once upon a time, there was a fair maiden. Her step-mother was jealous of her, so she tried to have her killed. The maiden fled into the woods to escape death and took up residence with some hospitable dwarfs. After the step-mother found out that the maiden was still alive, she disguised herself and offered the maiden a poisoned apple. She promised the young lady that all her dreams would come true if she would but take a bite. The maiden insisted it wasn't a good idea to be having an interlude with a stranger (as she knew that someone was seeking her death), but took a bite anyway because she was too easily deceived. The poisoned apple took effect and the maiden died. However, with True Love's kiss, she awoke and lived happily ever after.

How many of you think I just told the story of Snow White? You're wrong, because according to my son, this is the story of Eve and the Serpent in the Garden of Eden. I also just told the story of how Jesus awakens us from our spirit's death with His True Love. He shall indeed ride into the wild woodlands of our life and shake the sleep from our souls and carry us into Eternity with Him. The story of the evil step-mother tricking the maiden with the poisoned apple was not a tragedy so much as it was a springboard setting the stage for a redemptive love story. (Genesis 3)

With so many good things to eat, I hardly think of all the terrible things I should not eat. I enjoy eating eggs, but I am not tempted to eat the fork along with them. With all the wonderful things God has created for our pleasure, why are we tempted to indulge in things that will only harm us? Each and every temptation is like a shiny, beautiful apple....but it's a wolf in sheep's clothing, because it's poisoned.

"How blessed is the man who perseveres through temptation! For after he has passed the test, he will receive as his crown the Life which God has promised to those who love him. No one being tempted should say,'I am being tempted by God.' For God cannot be tempted by evil, and God himself tempts no one. Rather, each person is being tempted whenever he is being dragged off and enticed by the bait of his own desire." -James 1:12-14

Enjoy what God has given you. Be careful to only desire what He desires and to test every spirit; for the enemy's time is short and he is very jealous and is seeking you out to destroy you. But behold! Though we are sinners, Christ has overcome death and He longs to share that inheritance of eternal life in Paradise with you! What was lost in Eden will be redeemed by True Love's Kiss. After this journey, we shall be swept away to live happily ever after.

The End

Thin Skinned

"People with good sense are slow to anger, and it is their glory to overlook an offense." -Proverbs 19:11

Every now and then, one of our chickens will lay an egg that has no shell. Instead of a shell, the egg will literally be only a thin, leathery membrane of skin. For some reason or other, the egg didn't become calcified before being laid. With no shell, it doesn't take much to destroy the delicate innards of the egg.

It is easy to become offended. It's second nature to allow our innards to become scrambled by life's abrasive and abusive ways. We need to be prepared for the fact that our enemy is merciless and is seeking to destroy us. We must not be thin-skinned! We must put on the armor of God to protect our precious hearts. One of the greatest ways to protect ourselves is through basic obedience to God's Word and self-control.

"Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control." -Proverbs 25:28

Ruling our spirits and submitting them to God's ways protects us from most of what the enemy will throw at us. Life will happen, but how will we react? Men will betray, and many will hurt us without even trying. What will we do?

"For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will not forgive yours." -Matthew 6:14&15

Forgiveness protects us from not only destroying ourselves with bitterness, but also from the wrath of God. Forgiveness is like a shell protecting us. God will not forgive us our offenses if we do not forgive others. If a holy God can overlook our offenses when we humble ourselves and repent, who are we to not do the same to fellow people when we are no better than they are?

Let us not live like the "reject" eggs from my chickens. They are formless, floppy, and vulnerable to nearly every provocation. Instead, let us be conformed to the image of Christ who bore no bitterness despite the fact that he was the most wrongfully assaulted person ever. Let us not be weak and floppy, but strengthened and renewed by waiting upon the Lord and exercising ourselves spiritually so we are fit enough to do battle for others in the name of our Lord. As we bear the name and standard of Christ's righteousness, may we be found without chinks in our armor due to our own lack of self-government.

"Hear a just cause, Adonai, heed my cry;
listen to my prayer from honest lips.
Let my vindication come from you,
let your eyes see what is right.

You probed my heart,
you visited me at night,
and you assayed me without finding evil thoughts
that should not pass my lips.
As for what others do, by words from your lips
I have kept myself from the ways of the violent;
my steps hold steadily to your paths,
my feet do not slip.

Now I call on you, God, for you will answer me.
Turn your ear to me, hear my words.
Show how wonderful is your grace,
savior of those who seek at your right hand
refuge from their foes.
Protect me like the pupil of your eye,
hide me in the shadow of your wings
from the wicked, who are assailing me,
from my deadly enemies, who are all around me.

They close their hearts to compassion;
they speak arrogantly with their mouths;
they track me down, they surround me;
they watch for a chance to bring me to the ground.
They are like lions eager to tear the prey,
like young lions crouching in ambush.

Arise, Adonai, confront them! Bring them down!
With your sword deliver me from the wicked,
with your hand, Adonai, from human beings,
from people whose portion in life is this world.
You fill their stomachs with your treasure,
their children will be satisfied, too
and will leave their wealth to their little ones.

But my prayer, in righteousness, is to see your face;
on waking, may I be satisfied with a vision of you."

Psalm 17

Dearest friend, overlook offenses and rule your spirit. Our just Lord will surely settle all accounts and make all things right. We believe He is good and trustworthy, so let us act like it.

The Lust of the Flesh

Autumn on the farm means primarily one thing: downsizing. I walk meditatively among my animals and pause and reflect among many of them. I decide which ones I will keep and which ones I will sell or slaughter. Winter drives the beasties into the barn and all that they eat comes from my pocketbook instead of what the Lord has produced in their pasture. Old laying hens will soon meet the plucking machine...breeders who haven't produced well will meet the gambrel...temperamental goats that don't share food with their neighbors will share their own selves soon...and the ones who were destined from birth (wethers) will finally live up the names they've borne for the past 8 months or so. Let's see, there's Baby Beef, Little Sausage, etc....

I'm not hungry, but I cannot help gazing over my flock and mentally pick off the ones I know will taste so good; I am imagining maple sausages, grilled chops, meatballs, stews, and roasts. Jokingly, we say I am literally lusting after their flesh and they don't seem to know it. They contentedly munch their hay and grain and bleat with their little tails wagging.

"Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said,'If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.' Jesus answered,'It is written: Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"(Matthew 4:2-4)

When Jesus was tempted with turning the stones into bread, it was referred to as being tempted with 'the lust of the flesh'. The other things he was tempted with were called 'the lust of the eyes' and 'the pride of life'. However, lust of the flesh is simply desiring something natural to desire. Jesus was legitimately very hungry. If he were not hungry, it wouldn't have been much of a temptation. However, it was the Spirit who led him into the desert, so it must be the Spirit who was to sustain him. He passed the test. He was not supposed to use his divine power to satiate his flesh.

Lust of the flesh takes on many, many forms that are overlooked. For example, have you ever had a task that you knew you should complete, but you yielded to your tiredness and didn't complete it? Tiredness is natural and is no more sinful than desiring bread when you haven't eaten in 40 days. Have we tried the divine path when tempted with quitting? We could say,"It is written: You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised (Heb. 10:36)".

The Lord is not looking to build an army of weak-willed people who cave to natural cravings. Yes, we are fearfully and wonderfully made so that our body signals when we are to satisfy a need. But one need so desperately forsaken is the need to exercise our spiritual self. We are more than flesh, we are born again...born of the Spirit of the One who raised himself from the dead! Surely, we are more than ovecomers!(Romans 8:37)

I am not suggesting that I am strong. Indeed, I am weak. However, God transforms my helplessness into something beautiful that He can use. A leaf that desperately tries to dig it's little stem into the ground will weary itself with each puff of wind that tests it's resolve; plus, it is likely it will become trampled into the ground and will become nothing more than the dirt it's pressed into. However, a leaf that yields itself to the wind, takes flight and rides the current of the wind and avoids being trampled underfoot. I am that leaf. May the power of the Living God move me and use me. Breathe on me, O Breath of Life.

"For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body of sin might be rendered powerless, that we should no longer be slaves to sin." Romans 6:6

So, it is written.

Ezer

How can I not write about my dog, Asher? Asher is a border collie, and he helps me move the livestock every day. Before I had him, I would run around like a fool, yelling and waving my arms trying to round up the sheep. They didn't take me very seriously. I didn't take me very seriously.

Asher does so much more than help me move the stock. Asher is a good friend. Ask anyone who has visited my home, and they will tell you that he greets you with a hug. He will wrap his arms around your leg and squeeze. He is extremely obedient and will always go out of his way to obey. He not only answers to me, but to anyone. He responds even to my children as an authority. If you tell him to lay down, he will drop to the ground immediately with no hesitation. His desire is to please...always. I have even had friends bring their dogs to my home, and Asher keeps them in line and will not let them disobey their owner or chase chickens or whatever else naughty a dog may do.

When we need a job with the stock done, the first question is: "Where's Asher? I need him." He brings order to the barnyard and he carries authority. The very sight of him makes the sheep bolt into the barn, so I actually cannot have him out during feeding time or the sheep would never get fed. With all he does, though, he doesn't assume his own authority; but he submits to me.

The word "ezer" accurately describes Asher in my life. Ezer is the Hebrew word for "help".

One of the first uses of it in Scripture is when Adam meets Eve and she is called his "ezer kenegdo" (help-meet). This is found in Genesis 2:18. God says that it is not good for man to be alone. Man alone is a lot like the picture of me trying to round up the sheep without Asher. Now, granted, some men are called into a life of celibacy, but they are hardly alone; God is their all. What I'm speaking of is that woman was created to help man do his job. She was not created directly in the image of God, but the image of man, who was made in the image of God (1 Corinthians 11:8&9). This is not to say that women are NOT made in the image of God at all, but simply that she was taken from man and is the glory of man. Women indeed are made in the image of God same as man, only more indirectly so. Thusly, for the ladies, remember to submit to your husband and have a heart for pleasing him. If you are not married, do it for your father. If you are single, do it for God who is your heavenly Father and your Bridegroom. Be His ezer kenegdo...it's who you were created to be, and anything apart from that will leave you feeling incomplete because you are truly being delinquent against the very fiber of your being. For the men, look to God as your Head and Leader--come alongside Him and allow His authority to work through you to bring order to a rebellious world.

Help can also take on the form of something much stronger than something that comes alongside you that aids you in your tasks. The word "ezer" is used again in Psalm 121--

"If I raise my eyes to the hills, from where will my help come? My help comes from Adonai, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip--your guardian is not asleep. No, the guardian of Israel never slumbers or sleeps. Adonai is your guardian; at your right hand Adonai provides you with shade--the sun can't strike you during the day or even the moon at night. Adonai will guard you against all harm; he will guard your life. Adonai will guard your coming and going from now on and forever."

Come again? "...at your right hand?" That sounds like God is our helper! Not only do we come alongside God to carry out His will, He comes alongside us to aid us in what He's called us to do. What a beautiful design the Lord laid out for our relationship with Him! My dear Asher is much like this picture of "helping guardian", as nothing happens on my land that Asher is not aware of first. He alerts me so that I can be watchful. He makes me a better ruler over this land the Lord gave me.

Ezer. What a beautiful word.

"Two are better than one, in that their cooperative efforts yield this advantage: if one of them falls, the other will help his partner up--woe to him who is alone when he falls and has no one to help him up." -Ecclesiastes 4:9&10

Passing On The Power

"Elijah and Elisha had stopped at the Jordan. Elijah took his cloak, rolled it up and struck the water with it. The water divided to the right and to the left, and the two of them crossed over on dry ground.
When they had crossed, Elijah said to Elisha,'Tell me, what can I do for you before I am taken from you?'
'Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit,'Elisha replied.
'You have asked a difficult thing,'Elijah said,'yet if you see me when I am taken from you, it will be yours--otherwise not.'
As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind. Elisha saw this and cried out,'My father! My father! The chariots and horsemen of Israel!' And Elisha saw him no more. Then he took hold of his own clothes and tore them apart.
He picked up the cloak that had fallen from Elijah and went back and stood on the bank of the Jordan. Then he took the cloak that had fallen from him and struck the water with it. 'Where now is the Lord, the God of Elijah?'he asked. When he struck the water, it divided to the right and to the left, and he crossed over."
-2 Kings 2:8-14

My goats were delayed in their breeding season this year, so I decided to do something to stimulate them into cycling. A neighbor was giving away a pygmy goat buck that had a lot of musk...and I mean A LOT!!! As my husband was driving in the truck on the highway in front of me with the goat in the bed of it, I could smell our furry friend 40 or so feet behind him in the car! It was my hope that this buck would, by pure fragrance, trigger my goats to go into heat.

Now, I have a buck. I have a wonderful buck. However, he's a six month old baby and puberty has eluded him the benefits of being stinky enough to woo the ladies. He's ready, he's eager, he's able...but he's not enough "buck" for my goats. He needed help.

Mr. Stinky (as I shall call the sexually charged pygmy, as we had many other less affectionate nicknames for him as time went on) successfully triggered my goats into heat. The problem started when my does wanted only to breed with him, and I didn't want such an ugly little monster to breed. Poor Pilgrim (that's my lamancha buck) didn't stand a chance against all that musky goatishness in the next pen. In turn, Mr. Stinky took his frustration out on us when we wouldn't let him breed. He became very aggressive and began charging at me, my husband, and my children. My legs became very bruised up and I found myself running with a full bucket of milk from the garage to the house just to avoid getting attacked. All barnyard peace was abandoned during his short stay!

The obvious decision had to be made to euthanize the aggressive Mr. Stinky. However, how then would we be able to make sure Pilgrim was "buck enough" for the girls? After my husband shot Mr. Stinky, we carefully removed his collar. It was saturated and literally greasy with all of his various funky musks. Perfect. After we burned Mr. Stinky's body, we bequeathed Pilgrim with his old collar.

From the moment we placed that collar on Pilgrim, it was as if we had knighted him. He was now stinky and he knew it. He smelled like a "real" grown-up buck! He got a strut in his step and he promptly began wooing all of my does relentlessly. That smelly collar is like a ring of power around his neck.

What God has given to us for His purposes is no more an object to call our own than as the sky owns the sun. The passing of the prophet's cloak was a beautiful transference of power from Elijah to Elisha. Where Elijah was going he didn't need it any more. We shall be utterly changed in the fire and will not need anything any more. What we try to hold in our hand shall be burned up, so pass it on!

As John the Baptist lived his life as a harbinger for Jesus himself, so should we be living a life ready to stand aside for those greater than ourselves. The natural man wants to be the greatest and the most wonderful, but the spirit man looks to lead people into becoming better than himself. Elijah mentored and prepared a man who became a prophet with double the anointing that he even had. Make a way for those behind you to supersede you in excellence. Our life is not our own. Sow into others all you have so that when you cross the Jordan and are taken in a whirlwind of fire, what you leave behind will carry on greater works than you ever achieved.

"So the last will be first, and the first will be last." -Matthew 20:16

"Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me." -Matthew 25:40

"After me will come one more powerful than I, the thongs of whose sandals I am not worthy to stoop down and untie." -Mark 1:7

"Therefore, I urge you to imitate me...my way of life in Christ Jesus, which agrees with what I teach everywhere in every church." -1 Corinthians 4:16-17

"'Lord, are you going to wash my feet?'
Jesus replied,'You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.'
'No,'said Peter,'You shall never wash my feet.'
Jesus answered,'Unless I wash you, you have no part with me.'
'Then, Lord,' Simon Peter replied,'not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!'
....(Jesus says)'Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.'" - John 13:6-9&14-15

"Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." -Luke 14:11

Dance With Abandon

Goats tend to be seasonal breeders, much like deer. Breeding season is always eventful. As dignified as some people act about breeding goats, the goats themselves forsake all dignity to reproduce.

When a female goat cycles and goes into heat, she will accept the service of a male goat. At all other times, she will refuse. When a female goat is in heat, she often wags her tail a lot (this is called flagging) and will rub her head on the male. This is not very ostentatious, but what the boy goat does is indeed nothing short of ostentatious.

To varying degrees, the male will make an utter fool of himself to get the girl. Most goats will hang their tongue out of their mouth, snort, wave their front leg in the air, pee into their mouth, flip their upper lip up, and make a series of vocal noises ranging from little grunts to full throaty octaves. I even had one buck that used to say the word "whoop, whoop" plain as day over and over. It gets the girl every time. The most beautiful of bucks will turn into a clownish imbecile in the presence of a receptive doe.

This made me think of King David as he danced before the Ark of the Lord (2 Samuel 6:13-15). He "danced with abandon" before the Lord because all of his excitement was tied up in the presence of God. Whatever is our object of worship demands our all, and our all includes our dignity.

Why did David wear only his undergarments and a ritual vest? I don't know. Why do male goats pee on themselves and sing hideous songs? I don't know. What I do know is this, though: David got what he wanted when he danced with abandon. What he wanted was an intimate experience with God, and he got it. If we worship with our eyes darting to and fro to the people around us who we think are watching us, we, too will get what we want. If that is how we worship, what we're wanting is a proper image, and we'll have it. If we close our eyes and yield our hearts to the Spirit's leading, what we want is what David wanted.

If a male goat became inhibited and was less focused on the girl in heat and more focused on the other goats watching him...he wouldn't get the girl. Quite honestly, he'd likely be the weenie of the barnyard. It's a personal opinion, but I think that when we worship God while thinking how we appear to others, the angels see us as worshipping weenies.

If I could, I would scream these words of David, the psalmist, from the rooftops: "As for you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father. Serve him wholeheartedly and with desire in your being; for Adonai searches all hearts and understands all the inclinations of people's thoughts." -1 Chronicles 28:9

Worship God with abandon. Serve God with abandon. Dance for God with abandon. All of heaven's eyes are looking on you, cheering you on to be a fool for Christ. You'll get the desires of your heart; so what is it that your heart is truly desiring?

Copper In The Gut & Clay In His Hands

Yesterday, I copper bolused my goats. At least, I think I copper bolused them. It's hard to tell when you're wrangling creatures that nearly match your weight and have jaws that they are only too ready to use to your digit's demise.

A copper bolus is quite simply a capsule that is loaded with tiny bits of copper wire. After the capsule dissolves, the bits of wire lodge themselves in the lining of the goat's stomach and dissintegrate over the course of 8 months, steadily releasing copper into the animal's system. The copper, in turn, will correct deficiencies in goats. Control of parasites is the #1 reason to copper bolus your goats.

To give you an idea what it looks like when I do this, I'll try to describe it to you:

I bring a cup full of capsules into the garage along with my balling gun (which shoves the pill down the throat). Each adult goat only needs two capsules, but I bring more knowing some will get caught in their molars and chewed and wasted. I enter the barn and catch an apprehensive goat by the collar and lead it into the garage despite the loud protests of the captured goat's friends left behind. I say a quick prayer that the procedure will go as smoothly as the diagrams in a book say, and then I act like it will be so. I straddle the goat and tie the lead rope around my belly so that even if I lose my grip on the goat, it cannot bolt without dragging me with it. I place the capsules in the end of the balling gun and insert it into the goat's mouth. This doesn't work, even though the book says it does. So, after my failure, I use the balling gun the way I think it should be used. I place it sidewise like a gag in the goat's mouth, shove the pills against the roof of the goat's mouth, and then pour water down it's throat. Sure, it gurgles it's protests and lunges to get away from me, but it's just a dumb, self-willed animal that has no idea that I'm trying to give it the best and most healthy life.

Often, I find that I have a sensation of God straddling me, gagging me, and flushing things into me that I don't understand. People say that Jesus is a gentleman because he knocks on the door of your heart instead of kicking it down. I agree. However, once you open the door and call him Lord and say,"I am yours, do with me what you will," ... interesting things happen. He accepts the position of being what He is best at ( a potter, a consuming fire, a teacher, etc) and gets to work.

The Bible is filled with passages much like the calm diagrams in my books painting a picture of what it should look like to bolus a goat. Reality can often be that we are stubborn, fearful, and self-willed and won't trust that God is working things together to help us. If we won't relax and trust, God will often have to use His tools in a more creative way to ensure that His goodness will come about in us. More than once I've forced Him to have to roll up His sleeves and get down and dirty with me!

Proverbs 3:5-8 says," Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones."

All good things come from God. Trust Him. You let Him in once before when He knocked at the door of your heart because of His irrisistible wonderfulness! Yield to Him. Things will go MUCH smoother. Let us not be like a dumb beast that fears nearly everything, but let us be good sons and daughters of our Lord who fear only Him...and even that fear is one of reverential love!

The Doughnut Gospel

"When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter,'Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?'
'Yes, Lord,' he said,'You know that I love you.'
Jesus said,'Feed my lambs.'" -John 21:15

Last week, I heard a knock on my door during dinner time. I opened the door and saw a woman. "Are you missing a sheep?" she asked. Puzzled, I said,"No, why?"
"There's an intact ram up at the BP gas station at Route 46, and someone said you had sheep and it was probably yours," she answered.
"It's not mine, but I'll take him," I said.

Upon arrival, I noticed a large ram with enormous horns pacing between the gas pumps and the air compressor. My husband and myself opened the back of our truck, pulled out some ropes, and prepared ourselves for a battle to catch and load this rogue ram. The woman who had come to our door before approached us and said,"Oh, you won't need those ropes. He's awfully friendly. He's been here all week."
"What's he been eating?" I asked.
"Doughnuts," she nonchalantly replied.
Wow.
So, we found that this ram was indeed partially in a sugar coma and was as easy to load into the truck as a sack of laundry. He was dazed and confused and was all too happy to collapse in the back of the truck and be left alone.

When we unloaded him at our home, he was greeted with a rude awakening. Pappy, our 280 lb ram (actually, he's more like a furry hippo) was none too pleased to find another ram on his turf. The new ram staggered into the pen and as soon as Pappy had a clear shot, he plowed into the new ram's side. After a few more hits, he shook his head, gazed about and began squaring up Pappy to ram him a few times himself. After a few more intense head-butts that lifted each other off the ground, they became the best of friends. By the next day, the new ram was as keen and alert as the best of sheep. He had come down from his sugar high.

When Jesus ordered Peter to 'feed his sheep', Peter was wise enough to know that the 'feed' he was to offer must be nourishing. Sometimes, the gospel we hear is anything but nourishing. Sometimes, the gospel we hear is like a doughnut.

What's so bad about a doughnut, you may ask? It's sugar coated and has a giant hole in it! Is there someone who has offered a gospel that focuses only on the tasty parts of the faith and none of the good, wholesome parts that require discomfort? Then it's an incomplete gospel, same as a diet of doughnuts is an incomplete diet.

The Apostles knew and understood the gravity of their task to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ to the peoples. 1 Corinthians 15:1-3 says,"Now, Brothers, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand. By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain.

"I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel--which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach a gospel other than the one we preached to you, let him be eternally condemned! As we have already said, so now I say it again: If anybody is preaching to you a gospel other than what you accepted, let him be eternally condemned! Am I now trying to win the approval of men or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ." - Galatians 1:6-10

A 'doughnut gospel' might be popular, and it might fill pews, and it might help you feel better about yourself...but it's a lie. It's sugar coated with a giant hole in it. Those who preach for popularity preach to their own demise. Those who preach as Paul did (as a tortured, beaten servant in chains), preach as Christ did. Christ suffered and carried a cross, and a servant is not greater than his master. Beware of those who say that Jesus died so you can have the good life. Indeed, it is a good life to serve Christ; you will experience joy immeasurable...but you will also suffer, as did your Savior. You may not get much of what you ever wanted, unless all you ever wanted was intimacy with God and a life He blesses.

There will be those who have bought into a lie and will in turn attempt to deceive others. Some false teachers may not even understand that they are, but that does not make them innocent.
"There were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They wills secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the sovereign Lord who bought them-- bringing swift destruction on themselves. Many will follow their shameful ways and will bring the way of truth into disrepute. In their greed, these teachers will exploit you with stories they have made up. Their condemnation has long been hanging over them, and their destruction has not been sleeping." -2 Peter 2:1-3

Make sure your shepherd preaches the Word of God --unadulterated. There is no truth in a sugar coated gospel. What comfort we have is in God's faithfulness in His promises. My shepherd teaches that there is no such thing as padded crosses.


"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death." - Philippians 3:10

After his encounter with Christ in which he got interrogated as to the level of his devotion, Peter understood that he was to tend some sheep. The food he was to give them was to be the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Nothing less. To feed them simply tasty morsels that satisfied their current craving would be to doom them. As my ram nearly forgot he was a ram until he was plowed over by one, the truth of Jesus often hits like a raging beast. Shake the sleep from your eyes, nourish yourself with truth, and charge into battle with power!

We are all commissioned to preach the good news, so let this be our prayer: "Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should." -Ephesians 6:19-20

When I first yielded to my Jesus, I automatically became his slave. I could do no else. Out of this, a poem was birthed. This was the first poem after meeting him for who he really was, and it's my response to him:

I'm shackled, I'm chained,
I'm beaten, I'm torn;
Blood runs down
And spells out your name.
I cannot curse you;
You died for me
And I can only do the same.

Make me a martyr;
Let me die for your love.
Let me scream, let me cry--
And all for your perfect love.
I'm shaken by your Spirit!
Let me die for you
As you did for me.
You're the only Savior,
But I can die, too.

I love you and your perfect love.
I love you and you've gained my trust.
I'll die, too, and be an example;
Then my work will be done.
Let me die for you."

I shared this not because I think it's a good poem or even theologically accurate or emotionally healthy...I share it because when the Spirit of the Lord descended on me, I knew who Christ was, and I knew it wasn't a God who was like a magic fairy or a teddy bear. I want to know if I have brothers and sisters in Christ who will forsake the insignificant morsels of false gospel that pets our ego and pads our pride. I want to know if I have brothers and sisters who embrace the REAL Jesus for who He is and adore the REAL gospel and the power within it. Who's with me?!

Stumbling and Mewing

"We look for light, but all is darkness; for brightness, but we walk in deep shadows. Like the blind we grope along the wall, feeling our way like men without eyes. At midday we stumble as if it were twilight; among the strong, we are like the dead." -Isaiah 59:9-10

We have a wonderful barn cat named Sugar. Sugar is our only female cat, and she births a litter of kittens on average about 3 times per year. Always, her kittens have been healthy and rambunctious, but this past litter has not. This litter has had problems from the start. One of the kittens simply died at one day old. Another one died at four weeks old for no reason. The remaining three in this litter all have a terrible case of conjunctivitis (eye infection).

As I watched a pathetic mewing kitten stumble and crawl with her eyes sealed shut and desperately searching out something familiar, I felt the Lord put this verse from Isaiah on my heart. He wanted to point out how people are like this kitten.

What I first came to understand is that there are two kinds of eyes: the physical eyes and the "eyes of the heart"(Ephesians 1:18). Your physical eyes may be blind, yet you can have sight in your heart...and vice versa. While a wide variety of things may cause physical blindness, only a handful of things cause spiritual blindness.

In general, it's sin that separates us from God and causes the eyes of our heart to be blinded. In the passage from Isaiah at the beginning, it starts with this: "But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear."(vs. 2)

Jesus: hanging, dying, suffering on the cross utters to God,"Father, forgive them for they don't know what they're doing!" (Luke 23:34) Christ is always ready with an exchange for our blindness. He longs to give us understanding. His blood on the Mercy Seat cries out our names. By the grace of God, if we admit our helplessness, He is faithful to help us. You cannot help yourself. People (most assuredly, people who don't know Christ)cannot make the eyes of your heart see. Only God can remove the veil over our hearts. Matthew 15:14 says,"If a blind man leads a blind man, both will fall into a pit."

Revelation 3:17-18 says,"You say,'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing'. But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see."

So what is the formula for being healed of blindness? I hesitate to say the word "formula", but this is foolproof: open your Bible to Mark 10:51-52, then do what it says.
Jesus asks the blind man,'What do you want me to do for you?'
The blind man says,'Rabbi, I want to see.'
Jesus says,'Go. Your faith has healed you.'
Then, as the blind man did, receive your sight and follow Jesus along the road.

Know, though, that as you receive your healing, many people who are still blind will not like it. A servant is not greater than his master, and Jesus (who is the light of the world) was harassed and hated and killed by blind men. I believe it was subconsciously done, but the men who were guarding Jesus at his trial blindfolded him while mocking him and told him to prophesy who was hitting him. They attempted to project their own blindness upon the man whose presence cannot help but convict us. (Luke 22:63-65)

Jesus was the Word of God made into flesh. We put our trust into him and receive understanding. The veil is torn. "I have chosen the way of truth; I have set my heart on your laws. I hold fast to your statutes, O Lord; do not let me be put to shame. I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free." (Psalm 119:30-32)

Dearest brothers and sisters in Christ: I am so glad the eyes of your heart have been opened. We have health and understanding from the inside out. We have been redeemed from our fate of "stumbling at midday as if it were twilight". Let us not forget our desperate friends and family who are described this way still.


"By setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. The god of this age (satan) has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God." (2 Corinthians 4:2-4)

We are commissioned to be bearers of light! Now that you have received your sight, follow Jesus on the road. He has shared with you the privilege of giving sight to the blind.

Pride Goats Before a Fall...

Nearly everyone knows the story of Job. Job had it all...until he didn't. God allowed the Adversary to ravage all Job's possessions in order to test his righteousness and faithfulness. However, Job had some buddies that weren't keen on this celestial insight and spent ten or twenty or more chapters arguing with Job about why he suffered. God patiently waited until they shut their mouths, then he interrupted the prideful pow-wow with these words:

"Who is this, darkening my plans with his ignorant words? Stand up like a man, and brace yourself; I will ask questions and you will give the answers! Where were you when I founded the earth? Tell me, if you know so much." -Job 38:2-3

Following this is chapters 38, 39 and 40 which all include a series of rhetorical questions from God designed to humble his audience.

"Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct Him? Let him who accuses God answer him!" (Job 40:2)

Job, sufficiently humbled, says,"I am unworthy--how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth. I spoke once, but I have no answer--twice, but I will say no more." (vs. 4&5)

Nice. Smart move, Job.

I bring all this up to tell you that I am part of a group called "Raw Goat Milk". Exciting, huh? Well, it's more exciting than you'd think. It's an online Yahoo group of people who raise goats worldwide and they share information on legal issues, cheese making, animal husbandry, recipes, etc. It's actually very valuable. Well, it would be if it wasn't so much like the counsel of Job's friends.

Imagine for a minute that you were a backyard dairyman with a sick goat. You didn't know how to cure her, your family depended upon her production, and you couldn't afford a vet. Leaning on the counsel of experienced goat keepers would be really valuable...only it seems no goat raiser can agree with another one about how to raise a goat! I bet if it was your goat, you would just want to get some counsel, heal your goat, and be done! However, there are times that it gets pretty heated when discussing stupid, trivial things like wormers, mineral mixes, and preserving milk. Really, people...does it have to be this way?

I spoke with a wise goat raising friend of mine of this issue and she nodded her head knowingly. We both had purchased goats from such people that literally worship their herd because it's a source of pride for them and they don't have something greater to live for. Their name, their reputation, and their sense of self-worth is tied up in their goat's bloodlines and productivity. "They don't know the Lord. How can I get offended when they criticize my herd? My assurance is with Him...my goats just give me milk and meat," said my friend. Yes, words of wisdom in a crazy, prideful world in which we don't know where to worship. A barn is a sad replacement for the awesome throne room of God.

"What does a person gain from all his labor at which he toils under the sun? Generations come, generations go, but the earth remains forever. What has been is what will be, what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun. Is there something of which it is said,'See, this is new'? It existed already in the ages before us. No one remembers the people of long ago; and those to come will not be remembered by those who come after them." -Ecclesiastes 1:3&4,9-11

We can work our hearts out for something that we believe will demonstrate our greatness, but even if it impresses people....it will not impress God. What impresses God is this:

"Here is the final conclusion, now that you have heard everything: fear God, and keep his commands: this is what being human is all about. For God will bring to judgement everything we do, including every secret, whether good or bad." - Ecclesiastes 12:13&14

Like Job, may we simply put our hand over our mouth and say no more. Let us walk in humility because we are but dust and ashes graced with the Almighty's breath of Life. In Christ alone is our hope, and not in the work of our hands or the vehemency of our opinions.

"Adonai, you have been our dwelling place in every generation. Before the mountains were born, before you had formed the earth and the world, from eternity past to eternity future you are God. You bring frail mortals to the point of being crushed, then say,'People, repent!' For we are destroyed by your anger, overwhelmed by your wrath. You have placed our faults before you, our secret sins in the full light of your presence. All our days ebb away under your wrath; our years die away like a sigh. The span of our life is seventy years, or if we are strong, eighty; yet at best it is toils and sorrow, over in a moment and then we are gone. Who grasps the power of your anger and wrath to the degree that the fear due you should inspire? So teach us to count our days, so that we may become wise." -Psalm 90:2-4,7-12

Repentence and Yielding

Psalm 32:9 says,"Don't be like a horse or mule that has no understanding, that has to be curbed with bit and bridle, or else it won't come near you."

Indeed, as much as I'll admit how beautiful a horse is and how peaceful it is to watch them graze or frolic, I will also be among the first to tell you that they are stupid. They, as the psalmist David puts it, 'have no understanding'. I will also tell you that the stupidest horse is one that is crazed with hormones. I have no stallion, so I have no horror stories of a sex-crazed male, but I have two mares that are obvious when they are in heat. My tennessee walker mare, Promise, will become downright mouthy when she's in heat and will bite like crazy. My back, shoulders, and arms are still bearing bruises from her last heat cycle as she always waits until I'm not looking to take sample taste of me. My haflinger, however, is not as young and impish, so her hormonal stupidity manifests in less childish (but no less troublesome) ways.

I was unaware that she had started a heat cycle when I suggested to my husband that we work on her training more. The last session, we introduced a bit that went into the mouth. Previously, we used a hackamore bit which doesn't go into the mouth, but directs the head by metal bars that push on the cheeks when you pull the reigns (it's a less invasive way to train a horse when they're nervous, but less effective in getting them controlled). Anyway, I put the bit and bridle on her, saddled her, and helped my husband mount. Immediately, Psalm began to smack her lips (her personal warning sign that she was upset). Daniel was on her a grand total of a minute before she simply sat down and rolled on him.

The next day, still in heat, she had thrown her halter off and I needed to get it back on (a halter for a horse is much like a collar for a dog...you will have no hope of controlling them or restraining them without it). Psalm saw me approaching and took off like a bullet, running circles around the paddock. She would stop about ten feet in front of me, I would approach with the halter and a treat, then she'd take off as soon as I touched her. Round and round, again and again we went. A few times, she'd square up her buttocks in front of me, prepping to give a kick. "Glue factory" I yelled at her. "Dog food!" I screamed as I dodged her attempts. After an hour or so, I got her halter back on and left the paddock until her heat cycle was over. Now she's back to her sweet self and my husband even took her for a ride last night.

My point in telling this story is that a horse is a ridiculously dumb beast with a very immature level of understanding. As powerful and beautiful and fun as they are, they need a master or else they are more of a danger than they are of a true use. The minute we accept Christ as our Lord, it's much like a horse accepting a rider. When Jesus is in our hearts, it's much like taking a bridle on our heads. Do not make it difficult for the Lord to catch you. Let Jesus reign and lead you. The Lord told me once,"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. You choose." Accepting Christ as our rider, can we submit ourselves to be controlled in gentle ways?

There are many gentle ways to lead a horse. You can move them off of leg pressure or even neck reign them (laying the reigns against the neck instead of pulling on them), and there are even verbal commands. A horse like that is usually not born able to receive commands like that; it requires a great deal of training....training from a patient and kind master.

"Perhaps you despise the riches of His kindness, forbearance and patience; because you don't realize that God's kindness is intended to lead you to turn from your sins. But by your stubbornness, by your unrepentant heart, you are storing up anger for yourself on the Day of Anger, when God's righteous judgment will be revealed." -Romans 2:4&5

We will refrain from using a severe bit in our horses's mouths if and whenever possible. It's their choice. If they respond to our gentle leadings, they will avoid much discomfort. Either way, the quickest way for us to ruin them is to lose patience and act in anger. An unteachable horse is destined for the kill buyer (glue and dog food) as much as we are destined for God's anger and judgement when we are unteachable.

Respond to the kindness of God. Accept it. Submit to it. He is a good Master. He is also Lord, and one day, every knee will bow and every tongue confess that He indeed is so. So get it out of the way and yield to Him and His teaching now before you must be subjected to more rigid training tools....or worse, His judgement.