Sexual Sucker Fruit

Song of Solomon 8:4 "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."


Years ago, I bought some fruit trees. Every spring, I prune the branches. I meticulously keep the trees watered and fertilized all in the hope of one day harvesting fruit from them. I have two apple trees and two pear trees. This year was the first year of seeing any hope of my efforts paying off. One of my apple trees blossomed and budded with wee little green apples. I rejoiced and thanked God that someday I would be eating some apples that I had raised!

Now, those wee green apples have matured and are brazenly donning a glowing red blush. They are ripe and round and look so delicious. However, there's a problem-- they are sucker fruit. I don't know the reasoning behind it, but I've had many farmers warn me not to pick the first crop from my fruit trees, but to let them mature and die and wait for the next year to harvest the fruit. It's so hard to resist the urge to to pluck just one from the branch just to taste the fruit of my labors, but I want my trees to bear the full potential of fruit for the next many years, so I wait...and wait....and just resist that urge.

In my heart, I began to reflect on how God has a perfect design for things. Sometimes, it seems as if He is withholding good things from us just as a cruel joke, but I know He's not that malicious. It seems to me that one of many things in our life that we must resist plucking from the tree prematurely is sex. Premarital sex is a lot like sucker fruit. If we sample it before we should, we could be limiting the fruitfulness of that tree in future years. I don't claim to understand how God works, but I know He's always trying to tell us something.

I've heard the testimonies of many people who are married Christian couples this day, but they slept together before they we were married and regret it fully even now. Some might say, "What's the point of regretting? You're married now, so what does it matter?" The answer they give is: "It just does." When you know you've not done things God's way, you know you've gypped yourself, and that's just that. I'm not saying that God doesn't restore and forgive and make things right, but I am saying that there will always be a consequence for our actions. Oftentimes, God is merciful enough to keep us from seeing the full consequence because if we really understood, we might have a harder time getting over the disappointment and may even succumb entirely to a self-destructive grief.

In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. (Romans 6:11-13)


Sucker fruit must be left alone. God's plan for things in their maturity and fullness is perfect. Patience and trust are some of the most valuable things we could ever nurture in our hearts. To harvest a dozen apples today might be robbing myself of hundreds in years to come.

I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us, then, who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. (Philippians 3:14-15)

At the Bosom of Booger

Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.” - Luke 9:60



Years ago, we had a barn cat named Booger. Yes, I know, it's not a very flattering name, but her name was still Booger. She was a small, grey-striped cat that was very useful for killing vermin (I won't mention how she also killed things that were not vermin as well, though, like my poultry-- oops, I meantioned it).

One day, Booger had herself a litter of kittens. There were four of them and they all looked alike--- the mirror image of Booger. The kittens grew, opened their eyes, and learned to walk. As they learned to walk, their curiosity led them to some very dangerous places. One of them wanted to perch on the edge of a water bucket, but teetered in and drowned. Another one tried to play with the dogs and got chewed to death. Another one jumped off of my husband's workbench in the garage and decaptiated itself on a saw blade. The last one must have gained some introspective wisdom and high-tailed it out of this apparent death trap, because I never saw it again.

Each and every one of these kittens that died was buried next to the garage. The decapitated one was buried with his body and head placed neatly next to each other. However, one beautiful summer day, I found Booger happily nursing what looked like a kitten in the corner of the barn. She was purring and making that happy/squinty face that cats make when they're really content. I thought that maybe the missing one had returned, so I approached Booger to pet the kitten. To my absolute horror, I realized that she was nursing not a kitten, but the HEAD to her decapitated kitten! She had exhumed it and carried it into the barn to nurse and snuggle. I screamed for my husband and he snatched the head to re-bury it (this time, under a pile of rocks, so she couldn't dig it out again).

My friends, what I saw that day is indeed still very vivid in my memory. It was burned there by it's literal grotesqueness and I've often wished it would just disappear. However, I find myself reflecting on the fact that it's an appropriate image for realizing what it's like when we 'nurse dead things in our lives'. What in the world do I mean by this? Well, I must admit that sometimes, when something bad happens to me, I'm tempted to re-hash the scenario in my mind and nurse those dark feelings long after the offensive occurance has passed. I harbor a demented contentment when I reflect on these things. I don't pretend to understand the human mind, but I know that I'm not the only person who digs up hurtful memories again and again and again. Why, why, why is there the temptation to do it?! What is that sick pleasure? Indeed, it is little more than exhuming and nursing a dead kitten.

Are you bitter over something someone did to hurt you? Are you mad at God over losing a loved one? There are many 'dead kittens at the breast' that we could have in our lives if we don't handle painful memories and offenses in a healthy way. Do not exhume the dead!

"(Love) keeps no record of wrongs." - 1 Corinthians 13:5

Spiritual Mastitis

I'm not the most educated idiot regarding mastitis, but that's a good thing. I've never had it and (as a farmer) my goats don't get it. However, many good dairy people out there battle this odious attack of the mammaries on a daily basis. I've heard their cries and I've seen the struggle this produces in a herd of animals.

Mastitis is caused by the staph bacteria getting up into the teats of an animal. There, it breeds in it's warm, moist environment and causes an infection in the mammary. There are acute cases in which the animal may be running a temperature, have a hot and inflamed udder, and pass nothing but blood clots; or there may be a chronic issue in which the animal will produce off-flavored milk with small, white 'clots' in it. In an acute case, the animal may very well right itself and it's milk will be fine afterward. In a chronic case, the animal will continuously have recurrent or consistent flare-ups as it develops a somewhat symbiotic relationship with the staph bacteria that made a home in it's body.

In our lives, we know we are all fully capable of sin. Though we may have developed a relationship with Christ in which he's given us a new heart, we still are not perfect. The goal is holiness in our lives, but we still live in a world rampant with the dark armies that seek to steal, kill, and destroy. Our flesh likes this world and we are daily engaged in spiritual warfare to maintain our freedom in Christ. A goat is born with the ability to never have mastitis, but if it is in this 'contaminated' world, it will always run the risk. Certain goats are more resistant than others, and this is a blessing. Some goats are walking targets and we're never surprised when they are taken down.

Now, because we are still all able to sin, I consider a person who is free in Christ someone who can have 'acute' attacks of sin in their lives. For example, a person who yells at their children when they've had a particularly long day, or someone who was rude to another person in the parking lot when they were in a particular rush. These are acute 'flare-ups' of sin; they are like nasty, bloody chunks that stand out in our our life and draw great attention from people who know us well. They are normally quickly remedied and our 'milk' will taste fine after it clears up. However, there are those of us who literally function with chronic sins in our lives. We have a balance we've established in our homes and workplaces in which people can count on us being a certain way. Are we characterized as a pessimist? as being temperamental? as being rude? These are sins we've created a symbiotic relationship with and we appear normal on the surface because these are part of our daily walk. However, beneath the surface, there's a smoldering colony of darkness that is creating a literal 'off-flavor' to our lives. Daily, our Lord is drinking of our 'milk' we produce; some people are sweet after their acute case, and some are sour everyday.

What sins may we have allowed to colonize in our hearts? Do we have a relationship with sin in our lives that characterize us in a way that is very unholy?

There are ways to prevent mastitis in a herd: Cleansing, and removing carriers of the chronic cases. We must be careful to consistently wash ourselves in the Word of God and ask God to give us hearts that are sensitive to sin. Also, we need to be very careful of who we allow ourselves to be close to. Some people are breeding grounds of harmful material, and we must be careful to only offer ministry to them and not dwell in close quarters to them.

How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart?
Cleanse me from these hidden faults.
Keep your servant from deliberate sins!
Don’t let them control me.
Then I will be free of guilt
and innocent of great sin. (Psalm 19:12-13)

Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.” Think carefully about what is right, and stop sinning. For to your shame I say that some of you don’t know God at all. (1 Corinthians 15:33-34)



In the case of chronic mastitis, many will say to cull the animal (culling means to remove from the herd-- usually butcher). However, we're not just goats with bad milk, we are precious creatures of God that He seeks to restore. No case of sin is so bad that God can't cure it! Many dairy people that want to restore their goats with mastitis will say to massage peppermint and oregano oils into their udder. Peppermint cleanses, and oregano is a powerful agent in killing even the most sinister of diseases such as MRSA.

Search our hearts, O God, and make them new. Decolonize sin in our lives so we may not be breeding grounds for the Adversary's plan. May we be like You!


O Jerusalem, cleanse your heart
that you may be saved.
How long will you harbor
your evil thoughts?
(Jeremiah 4:14)

Lord, Save the Turkeys

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, and you were not willing." Luke 13:34

Summertime ushers in the season in which we raise our poultry for meat. In one day, I received my shipment of 50 chicks and 15 turkey poults. I immediately put the turkeys into the outdoor pen complete with heat lamp, hut for shelter, waterer, and food dish full of grain. They were delighted and strutted about pecking at blades of grass and making joyous, squeaky peeps. Shortly thereafter a storm blew very suddenly into our area. Within minutes after the torrents of rain and wind drove us inside, my daughter ran to me with tears in her eyes: "Mom!" she cried, "The turkeys are DYING!"

"What?!" I yelled, leaping from my seat. I gathered my skirts and ran outside to the turkey pen. Each and every one of the 15 turkeys was laying motionless and and soaked to the skin in the grass. Not one of the turkeys took the initiative to seek shelter from the storm and all were in various stages of dying. One turkey was most assuredly dead as it was laying face down in the waterer. The other ones I gathered into my shirt and carried into the house. My son brought in the heat lamp and my daughter brought the hair dryer, and we all set to the task of trying to save the turkeys.

After an hour or maybe two, all of the turkeys were to the point in which their eyes were open and began to peep again. We laid them under the heat lamp and left them to recover. For those of you who don't know poultry, the fact that we were able to save ANY turkeys is a miracle. Turkeys, especially, are very sensitive and die easily. Each and every one of the turkeys that we brought into the house recovered.

Now, I've learned that turkeys have no sense and need constant shelter. What the Lord pointed out to me is that many people are like turkeys and don't have enough sense to come in out of the rain enough to save themselves. What I mean is this: our Lord has offered Himself as a refuge and a hiding place for those who will indeed seek the shelter of His wings. His presence is not a safe place for those who are rebellious, but only for those who truly love Him and trust Him and honor Him in what they do. People, come under the shelter of the Most High and He will protect you from the storms of life. Storms will indeed happen, but they needn't get the best of us. Psalm 91:1-3 says ' Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.'


May I not be too stupid to see the outstretched wings of our Lord offering a refuge from life's storm. This world is a dangerous place--may we not be so naive as to think that we can save ourselves.

Therefore strong peoples will honor you;
cities of ruthless nations will revere you.
You have been a refuge for the poor,
a refuge for the needy in their distress,
a shelter from the storm
and a shade from the heat.
For the breath of the ruthless
is like a storm driving against a wall
and like the heat of the desert.
You silence the uproar of foreigners;
as heat is reduced by the shadow of a cloud,
so the song of the ruthless is stilled. (Isaiah 25:3-5)

Pitching Your Tent

We have a splendid herding dog named Asher. He naturally always seemed to know how to work the sheep to bring them into the barn when we needed him to do it. Over the winter, however, the sheep were continuously kept in the barn, so Asher's services weren't needed.

During the winter, he satisfied his urge to chase things by chasing cars (inside the confines of our fenced in pasture, of course). He would run back and forth, joyously barking as he spent some of his energy. After the snows melted and the pasture came in, Asher's services were once again needed to bring the sheep into the barn. I loosed him in the back paddock, same as always, but he just stopped and stared at the sheep, dumbfounded. He glanced back and forth between the sheep and me, and eventually trotted back to my side. "Go get them, Asher!" I cried, but he just trotted a few steps in their direction and stopped. It seemed that he trained himself over the course of the winter to only chase things that were moving of their own volition, and not things that required agitation to move. He literally forgot how to herd sheep!

Now, we've begun the grueling task of retraining him to herd the sheep and we're desperately trying to break his habit of chasing cars. When we take him with us during chore time, we correct him every time he tries to slink around toward the front of the garage to indulge his dirty desire. This morning, in particular, I noticed how his butt was by my side, but his mind and will were by the roadside. His gaze was off in that direction and every thirty seconds, his little furry behind would scoot a few more inches toward the corner of the building in the direction of his heart's desire. "Asher!" I exclaimed, "Quit pitching your tent toward Sodom!"

I was stunned by the words that came out of my mouth until I realized what God was trying to say to me. How often do we begrudgingly submit to the Lord, but defy His orders in our hearts in order to look for the first loophole or opportunity to disobey and gratify our own desires?

Genesis 13:12 says,"Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom." This looks like a trivial, geographical issue until we understand what Sodom is and what happens to Lot's heart. Sodom was a depraved city, steeped in iniquity, and nearly ripe for a disastrous judgment from the Lord. Lot set his tent to overlook a city he knew was evil. Years pass, and Lot's not living in a tent anymore-- he's living in a house
in the city of Sodom! Sodom was at this time all the way ripe for it's judgment and Lot had to evacuate in a hurry and bring as much of his family as he could with him! In the meantime that he was there, he managed to stay the most righteous man in the place, but that's hardly saying much. His whole family had become marinated in the culture of Sodom and it affected their hearts.

So here is my issue: the Lord has created us for a specific, useful purpose-- much the same way that the border collie was created to help a shepherd by herding sheep. We can either focus our efforts on a God-given task that is natural to our true anointing, or we can "chase cars" and squander our gifts on our useless, selfish desires. Whichever way we pitch our tent will affect the desires of our hearts. Who is your Lord? Is it your Creator? Or is it your self?

Jesus says in Matthew 16:24 says,"Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross, and follow me."

The Devourer

I've been having a problem in the barnyard lately. I noticed that some of my baby goats were not growing properly. I've checked their mother and she's producing plenty of milk. Still, they are stunted. I've puzzled and puzzled as to why they are growing improperly. However, today I went outside and noticed a horrifying sight: the beef steer was suckling the milk from the mother goat! No wonder these babies are stunted-- it's because their milk is being devoured by a cow!

Now, granted my cow is not Satan, but this brought to mind one of the names of Satan to me: the Devourer. The Devourer is intent upon his own satisfaction and leaves those weaker than himself to become even more weak. The Devourer oppresses rather than serves. The Devourer is permitted by God to reduce the wealth of people who disobey God and will not honor Him with their possessions. However, when we come into obedience, the Devourer is yanked back from our territory so that our wealth may once again be restored.

"Can a person rob God? Yet you rob me. But you ask, 'How have we robbed you?' In tenths and voluntary contributions. A curse is on you, on your whole nation, because you rob me. Bring the whole tenth into the storehouse, so that there will be food in my house, and put me to the test,' says the Lord of Hosts (Lord of the armies of heaven), 'See if I won't open for you the floodgates of heaven and pour out for you a blessing far beyond your needs. For your sakes I will forbid the devourer to destroy the yield from your soil; and your vine will not lose its fruit before harvest-time." Malachi 3:8-11

Though the disobedient are allowed to be chastened by God by way of the Devourer, God is the defender of the weak and will only tolerate the wicked yoke of oppression for so long.

"May Adonai cut off all flattering lips and the tongue that speaks so proudly, those who say, 'By our tongues, we will prevail; our lips are with us. Who can master us?' 'Because the poor are oppressed, because the needy are groaning, I will now rise up,' says Adonai, 'and grant security to those whom they scorn'...You, Adonai, protect us; guard us forever from this generation-- the wicked strut about everywhere when vileness is held in general esteem."

Now-- to go chasten an arrogant, oppressive bovine and restore the rightful inheritance to weakened baby goats! Hallelujah! I shall manage my barnyard as Adonai manages the whole of the earth! Glory to Him and His perfect ways!!!

Inoculated

Recently, my dogs received their rabies vaccinations. However, they didn't receive their tags to signify their vaccination until a couple days ago. This got me to thinking of something that I'd like to share with you.

If I were to put a rabies tag on my dog, it would only be a symbol of their inoculation. It, in and of itself, does not make the dog immune to rabies. The vaccination is what makes the dog immune. Whether or not the dog ever had a tag, it would be immune. To put a tag on an unvaccinated dog would be a farce and a lie. To not tag a vaccinated dog would be only an unfortunate oversight.

What I am getting at is this: There are those of us who wear a "Christian" tag, but we have not received the "inoculation" of the Holy Spirit into our hearts (which makes us immune to separation from God). Carrying a Bible and going to church and learning the lingo of those who know God does not qualify you of being a friend of the Most High. You must receive the serum of Living Water. To not "wear the tag" is not the most crucial thing. Many people have a hard time fitting into the mold that the church seems to cast. No matter! Jesus Christ wants to transform us into His image, and He was tossed out of a church or two! The true importance lies in our being acceptable to God and not man.

"This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives." -1John 1:5-10

If we have disease coursing through our souls and we refuse to be purified of it, we are liars regardless of what "tag" we bear that would claim us to be clean. There is one vaccination against sin, death, and hell and that is the blood of Jesus the Messiah!

"Day after day every priest stands and performs his religious duties; again and again he offers the same sacrifices, which can never take away sins. But when this priest (Jesus) had offered for all time one sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God. Since that time he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool, because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy." -Hebrews 10:11-14

"Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death--that is, the devil-- and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death. For surely, it is not angels he helps, but Abraham's descendants. For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people." -Hebrews 2:14-17

I do not wish to wear any Christian tag if the living Christ is not in me. Lord, thank you for coming to me while I was yet a sinner and making me acceptable to the Father. Thank you for taking away my fear of death. I know now that the end of my earthly life is the beginning of my heavenly life with You and that is something to rejoice about! Thank you for taking my sin and death and disease upon the cross so I didn't have to bear it. I can now wear your tag and not be a liar. Teach me to walk in the Light! Jesus-- my life and my breath forever.

One Good Leader

"If you reprove a scoffer, he will hate you; if you reprove a wise man, he will love you. The fear of Adonai is the beginning of all wisdom, and knowledge of holy ones is understanding. If you are wise, your wisdom helps you; but if you scoff, you bear your consequences alone." (Proverbs 9:8&10&12)

Recently, I was at a church function for youth. Out of maybe 40 adolescents, 5 looked as if they had come to genuinely worship the Lord while the others were in various stages of being horribly distracting. The groups of girls were segregated into little cliques that were chatting together. The boys were wandering about doing various things. Some were slouched in chairs, some were standing on the furniture, and still some others were tossing a football around--all during the time that the worship team was playing. After about 10 minutes of this chaos, one irate girl got up on stage and rebuked the whole crowd. "For ONCE," she said, "Can we please just WORSHIP?!" After that, the caddywumpus died down and it began to be a normal (yet still very noisy) time of worship for the youth.

As a farmer, when I saw that girl get on stage to rebuke the crowd, I saw a common episode I encounter with my sheep. The way it often goes with my sheep, is that when they break into a run, it's pure chaos. They run-- directionless--and into each other and fences and even sides of barns. Usually this furry mosh pit continues until one sheep decides to make sense and actually think while running. As soon as this one sheep straightens itself out and seems to know what it's doing, the rest of the sheep follow it. In the end, people are no different. As soon as we find one person that is willing to rise above the crowd and direct it, we are inspired and follow that one person who seems to know what they're doing. All it takes is one good leader.

It's no accident that the Bible compares people to sheep. One of the most common passages quoted is Isaiah 53:6 which says, "We all, like sheep, went astray; we turned, each one, to his own way." Obviously, we probably remind God of sheep. Jesus said to Peter that if he loved him, he would feed his sheep (John 21). As sheep so prone to wandering, we need a good shepherd. Alas, God knew this, so he provided one and his name is Jesus. One good leader, stepping into the chaos, restoring order to the flock. At the risk of sounding condescending, I will say that the smart sheep will follow the one who knows the way.

"Yes, indeed! I tell you, the person who doesn't enter the sheep-pen through the door, but climbs in some other way, is a thief and a robber. But the one who goes in through the gate is the sheep's own shepherd. This is the one the gate-keeper admits, and the sheep hear his voice. He calls his own sheep, each one by name, and leads them out. After taking out all that are his own, he goes on ahead of them; and the sheep follow him because stranger's voices are unfamiliar to them... I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep." (John 10:1-5&11)

Ye Be Warned!

Once upon a time, there was a lovely sheep. She was faithful to make beautiful new lambs every year and pleased her master. As she got older, though, her body needed a rest. Her udder stopped producing enough milk to support life for her new lambs. One year, her lambs actually died of starvation because she made almost no milk for them. At this time, the farmers decided that the sheep's retirement was imminent. She was butchered.

After she was butchered, the farmers sawed off her legs at the knee. There is no meat below the knee, so these were tossed to the dogs--fur, hoof and all. One dog took each of these legs and buried them in the four corners of the back pasture. "Ye be warned, sheep," said the dog, "That if ye not be producing good fruit, the master be takin' yer hide!" Now, each time the sheep go out to graze in the back pasture, they think upon that old sheep and remember the wise warning from their friend, the dog. "I best keep producing good fruits," they say -- and they do.

"Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers." -Galations 6:7-10
Aside from the talking animals, this is a true enough story. Those who are not redeemed are much like a sheep's body. They will one day wear out and be useless. However, those who are living their life in the Spirit of the Living God will inevitably be producing great fruit--even in their death. Those who have gone before me are living proverbs. Some people gave their all to something eternal and labored for the Kingdom. These are the people I want to be like. There are others, though, who worked for something carnal, produced only things carnal, and the only eternal good they did was show more wary people what not to do. They are like the four legs of the sheep buried in the four corners of the pasture--warning those who are more saavy to take heed lest they end up as chew toys.

Live for more than the next lamb you can pop out to please your master. These things, too, shall pass and then what??? Be fruitful for your Lord. Your value is far above rubies (Proverbs 31:10). Sow in the Spirit, reap in the Spirit, live in the Spirit! There is no way to live a carnal life, horizontally performed for the pleasure of other people and be serving God at the same time. Choose wisely!

"This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life!" -Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Culture

It's no secret that I am a raw milk advocate. In my circle of goat-hugging, whole food consuming, homesteading womenfolk, some buzz words center around the fermentation of our milk. To incubate by electric device or not? To chill before culturing or not? All of this is to attain the coveted perfect glass of kefir, tub of yogurt, jar of buttermilk, or wheel of cheese. Health, wealth, and the pursuit of probiotics keep us in the kitchen, swapping recipes while our goats contentedly and ignorantly much their hay in the barn, completely unaware that their milk means so much to these crazy, hairless beings that pamper them.

Most of our American products such as yogurt and cheese are prepared in highly controlled environments. Because of government regulations concerning the proper preparation of food, few things can go wrong without serious repurcussions, and corporations are desperate to avoid this. However, in Suzie Homemaker's kitchen, many things can go wrong while trying to ferment our milk. Basically, almost all of the problems we encounter can be boiled down to one thing: contamination.

Contamination can occur as early as the milk pail itself. If not every material used was sanitized, then your milk will be contaminated. It may or may not be a dangerous contamination; but either way, your product will not turn out right. Your cheese may be spongey, your yogurt may dissolve into the whey, your kefir may taste like a foot, or various other things may happen. Only in a controlled environment can your product have the desired results.

It's actually rather difficult to keep a controlled environment. I encountered a problem once in which my soft cheese kept turning into a solid, plastic-like mass that was unable to be sliced. I inquired from many sources, and found that my problem was not in my cleanliness, but in airborne contaminants. I found myself in a constant battle with invisible forces that were warring against my precious product.

In all my efforts to shelter my children so that the appropriate culture can flourish in them, I feel as if I'm constantly battling outside invaders. Contaminants are looking for a warm, cozy place (like a child's heart) to plant their own little spores and grow their own little brood of disgusting creatures at the expense of my little one's health. I can bust my butt trying to sterilize their little worlds, but in the end, I need to trust that the culture I'm putting into them is stronger than the culture that's seeking to overtake them.

"You, children, are from God and have overcome the false prophets, because he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. They are from the world; therefore, they speak from teh world's viewpoint; and the world listens to them. We are from God. Whoever knows God listens to us; whoever is not from God doesn't listen to us. This is how we distinguish the Spirit of Truth from the spirit of error." -1 John 4:4-6

By all means, I must put forth my greatest effort to keep my culturing environment a clean one. It's my responsibility to be careful of what culturing they receive. However, I am relieved that the burden does not rest solely on me and my power to make sure that my little cultures will thrive. Indeed, they are not mine, but God's. What He has put into us and our hearts cannot be overpowered by the evil one unless we will it to be so. Anything that seeks to overtake me and fester in my heart must first pass through the invincible Lord Almighty. He is my rock and my shield. His Word is powerful.

"See, the Word of God is alive! It is at work and is sharper than any double-edged sword--it cuts right through to where soul meets spirit and joints meet marrow, and it is quick to judge the inner reflections and attitudes of the heart." -Hebrews 4:12

Like the cultures I put into my milk, the Word of God is alive. Nurture and protect it, my friend, so that you may be a source of uncontaminated nourishment to someone who needs it.

The Misery of Hording

"Bend my heart toward your instructions and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; with your ways, give me life." (Psalm 119:36-37)

When we butcher, it's hard work for us and a glorious libation of goodies for the dogs. What we do not eat (bones, sinew, fat, organs, etc) is fed to the dogs. In years past, we've had dogs that amiably share the windfall by dividing the spoils amongst themselves. However, we have one dog that is displaying the worst kind of selfishness and ruining the fun for all of them. Selah, the great pyrenees, has adopted the habit of collecting all the bloody blessings into one pile and fiercely guarding it. The other dogs circle her treasure trove, looking for an opportunity to snatch a bite. She spends all of her energy guarding her stock, so she never even gets the opportunity to enjoy what she's fought for. Absolutely nobody gets to enjoy the treats, so the pile eventually rots and must be tossed into the fire to be burned.

Seeing Selah laying down in front of her pile, staring with unblinking eyes at the other dogs (who stare at her with unblinking eyes as well), I cannot help but see a picture of the misery of selfishness. Instead of everyone having a little bit of joy, nobody gets any. That's the way that Selah would have it. She'd rather have the pleasure of knowing the pile is all hers than to part with some of it and eat the rest as her portion.

What we have has been given to us is not exclusively for our benefit. What we've been given is for sharing. Luke 12:48 says, "From him who has been given much, much will be demanded--from someone to whom people entrust much, they ask more." Paradoxically, forfeiting what we have is oftentimes a benefit to ourselves. When we make room for God to bless us, He is faithful to do so. When we stuff our lives full of our own pleasures, He cannot fit His awesome blessings into our life.

"A man approached Jesus and said, 'Rabbi, what good thing should I do in order to have eternal life?'...Jesus said to him, 'If you are serious about reaching the goal, go and sell your possessions, give to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven. Then come, follow me!' But when the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he was wealthy." (Matthew 19:16&21-22)

The way to eternal life isn't giving everything away to people less fortunate. However, the man in this parable loved his riches more than he loved Jesus-- and Jesus knew it. This is why Jesus poked this man's sore spot--to give him an opportunity to forfeit what was really killing him to receive what he was dying for. We all, like the rich young ruler, have things that are hard to relinquish in order to follow hard after Christ. What's wrong with us? Don't we trust Him when He says that better things come to those who give up everything to follow Him?

"For whoever wants to save his own life will destroy it, but whoever destroys his life for my sake and for the sake of the Good News will save it. Indeed, what will it benefit a person if he gains the whole world but forfeits his life? What could a person give in exchange for his life?" (Mark 8:35-37)

A Contentious Hen

"Better to live on a corner of the roof
than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (Proverbs 25:24)

My husband's co-worker approached him minutes before the end of the workday and begged him to take a horrible rooster off of his hands. "This rooster," the man said, "Mounts my wife's head as if it were a hen. It's a menace and I need you to kill it." Nonchalantly acknowledging our infamy of being the 'bad rooster disposal service', my husband acquired the rooster and brought it home.

En route from his co-worker's house, my husband calls me on the phone: "Hey, honey," my husband says to me, "This rooster is a silkie. Haven't you always wanted a silkie?" For those of you who don't know what a silkie is, it's a small version of a chicken that has very fluffy feathers and barely resembles a chicken at all. As a matter of fact, it's more closely related to a koosh ball or perhaps a mop head. It's like a tiny, clucking cloud and is ridiculously endearing. So, we agreed that unless this rooster was going to mistake my head for a mate, we would keep him.

The next day, we kept a close eye on the rooster to see if he displayed any tendencies toward violence or molestation toward humans. He was docile, and much to our surprise, was being mercilessly harassed by our hens. They chased him through impossible obstacle courses through the barn and pulled out a number of his feathers. The icing on the top of this cake was when the poor little guy perched at the edge of our 30 gallon water tub for a drink and a hen pushed him right in. The rooster nearly drowned and we had to pull him out.

When the hilarity of the situation subsided, the Lord sobered me by pointing out to me that this is what many wives do to their husbands. Many wives act like the home is their domain and make it hard for their husband to relax in it. On top of that, they often pick a time of their husband's most vulnerable, weak times to humiliate him. Even if 'blowing some steam' is their goal as opposed to 'making their man suffer', the end product is the same--a bruised ego for one and a cock-like hen for the other.

"To the woman (God) said, '...Your desire will be toward your husband, but he will rule over you.' -Genesis 3:16

"Therefore, whoever resists the authorities is resisting what God has instituted; and those who resist will bring judgement on themselves." -Romans 13:2

To the ladies, I say this: Honor men. Honor all men in authority over you. Fathers, husbands, grandfathers, bosses, pastors, etc...they all deserve your respect. When you do anything to humiliate them, you are humiliating yourself. Never slander your husband or speak ill of him. If you are one with him, you are defaming yourself right alongside him. Even if he has wronged you tremendously, we must bless those who curse us and do good to those who spitefully use us.

To the men, I say this: I'm sorry. My ugly, rebellious head has surfaced many times in my life. May my future be patterned by the beauty of submission and honor. May my tongue speak only life and not death. May my actions be for the glory of others and not to prefer myself.


"Who can find a capable wife? Her value is far beyond that of pearls. Her husband trusts her from his heart, and she will prove a great asset to him. She works to bring him good, not harm, all the days of her life." (Proverbs 31:8-9)

the Prodigals

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was moved with pity. He ran and threw his arms around him and kissed him warmly." -Luke 15:20

In the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15, a young boy takes his inheritance from his father and runs off to squander it. He learns that good things run out, carnal pleasures cannot eternally satisfy, and that humility is the gateway to experiencing the fullness of love. Upon returning home with head hung low, his father's broken heart overflows with compassion and forgiveness because he is just so happy to see his beloved son again.

The Lord has seen fit to give me some dogs with prodigal tendencies. As soon as they see that we have carelessly left a gate unlatched or a door left slightly ajar, they take off to get drunk on adventure. They take off to expand their territory and explore the unknown. What they find after a couple of hours is that their adventuring has left them tired and hungry. This outside world offers not the comforts of a loving home. There is no warm bed, no familiar pats on the head, and no brimming bowl of dog food. If they want what they're truly desiring, they need to go home to get it.

When my dogs reach this point, they come to me in a groveling, crawling manner with their heads hung low. Oftentimes, I even hear a relieved whimper. I call to them and kneel on the ground. Upon approaching me, they bow as if to ask forgiveness or perhaps just to show gratefulness. What they don't seem to know is that even if they didn't display this submission, I would still be happy to have them in my arms. My goal is just to have them home and not to prove a point. If I were to yell and beat them, they would likely not be as eager to return home.

What people fail to realize is that God is like the father in the prodigal son story, and like me when I get my lost dog back. Oftentimes, people are afraid to approach God when they know they've messed up big time. They figure, "Wow, I've come in on the grace card so many times before that there's no way there's still enough mercy for me to keep doing it"-- so they put off returning to their Father because they suspect he must be angry and they want to avoid punishment. Dear friends, God isn't standing there with one hand outstretched and hiding a rod behind His back with the other. He just wants you home again. We can make His joy complete by not avoiding the inevitable. In the process, our joy will be renewed because He will still give us what we need despite our foolishness. Trust me when I say our foolishness does not shock and surprise God. This is why His mercies are new every day.

"You don't realize that God's kindness is intended to lead you to turn from your sins." -Romans 2:4

Fear does not motivate me to return to my God half as much as it motivates me down darker roads. Perfect love casts out all fear. Perfect Love calls from deep to deep, longing to have me in His embrace. Lord, thank you for being Home.

Being Used

"Everything is an affair of the spirit. If God has a way of dealing with you in your life, it is the only way. Every little thing in which you wouild have your own way has a mission for your redemption. And He will treat you as a willful little child until you take your Father's way for your own." -George MacDonald

Normally, in the winter, I keep all the barn doors shut all the time. The reason I do this is so that a dumb, pregnant goat or sheep will not wander out into the cold to have her babies in the middle of the night and leave them to freeze. Trust me when I say this has happened to us before. However, I have begun leaving one of the barn doors open during the day.

One day, my husband came into the barn and said, "Why is this door open?"
"So the dogs can go in and out and won't get cornered by a bully-ish goat", I replied.
"But what if one of the females delivers outside and has frozen babies?"
"Well, the dogs need to guard the stock."
"From what?"
"Listen," I say,"I know we don't have the biggest coyote problem, but we're supposedly raising livestock guardian dogs, and how can I legitimately claim that if they've never been tested?"

A light bulb went on in my husband's head in more ways than one. He realized first of all, what I was saying about the door being open; but more importantly, he realized what God was up to in his life.

"I'm being tested," my husband said quietly ,"So my quality may be proven."

The only way to tell the strength something possesses is to test it. I may have a sword on display on my wall and claim it is made of the finest steel, able to slice a man asunder in one swing, but if I haven't tested it, then all my claim is is empty air. What would happen if someone I had boasted to decided to remove the sword from display and attempt to cut a cantaloupe with it only to find that the cantaloupe shattered the sword? Well, I'd be a great fool.

My livestock guardian dogs will be little more than pretty lawn ornaments if they were kept from their job of guarding livestock. In our laziness, we often wish God would shut the door to our responsibilities and let us just lay back and enjoy being his fat companion. However, the world needs a lot of help, and those who have been redeemed were redeemed for a purpose--a huge purpose. When the Lord redeems us, we're not just to be pretty trinkets to put on the shelf of heaven in order to gather dust. We are to be vessels for carrying the very authority and character of God Himself.

If you are being tested, take heart-- God is pulling you from the shelf, grasping your handle, polishing you lovingly, sharpening your edge, and using you for His awesome purpose. I'd much rather be grasped in the Master's hand than to gather dust anyway--even if when he strikes a blow while using me, I get hurt.

"Then I heard the voice of Adonai saying,'Whom should I send? Who will go for us?'
I answered,'I'm here, send me!'" (Isaiah 6:8)

Apathy and cowardice
Have reigned here far too long
I wish that I could see myself
-my self as someone strong

Take my apathy and make it
Ambition for you, Lord
Divorce me from my comfort
With your mighty, piercing sword

Take away my fears, God
Help me take a step of faith
Use me to ignite your spirit
In this wretched place

For You are bigger
Than anything on earth
Lord, break the chains
That hold us to this curse

The Stupid Chicken

"So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall! No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." -1 Corinthians 10:12&13

In the spring, summer and fall, I don't have to haul water buckets out to the barn. In the warmer months, my pond is unfrozen and my animals can tend to their own thirst. However, in the winter months (November through March), I haul about 20 gallons worth of water daily to the barn.

Each morning, as I do this, I see a row of frantic chickens lined up on the edge of the 30 gallon water tub. Each chicken is poised and ready to be the first to stretch down and get the first sip of sparkling, fresh water. The problem arises when they start slipping and sliding because they've stretched too far. Then, they begin flapping madly to regain their balance. In the barrage of flapping, sliding chickens, a few are doomed to be dunked. With as cold as it gets, this is actually a real concern because they could get frostbitten toes or worse.

A few days ago, as I watched this normal display of poultry intelligence, I began to reflect on the Scripture that says, "Take heed lest ye fall..." Basically, the most certain way to make sure you're going to fall is by becoming arrogant (Proverbs 16:18 "Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall"). In my own life, I have most become arrogant in the area of believing I'm impervious to certain sins.

Routinely, I make a mistake of believing that just because I'm about the Lord's business, that God's got my back and I don't need to worry about spiritual warfare. Wrong! Spiritual warfare is likely at it's worst when I'm about the Lord's business! Don't get me wrong-- God totally is watching out for me, but that doesn't mean I should let my sword drag or leave my helmet at home; this makes for a sloppy warrior! I recently have been left with the sensation that I'm reaching too far down to help people and my balance is becoming unsteady. If I fall, I know I'll freak out-- and my freaking out will likely trip up even more people. My feet must be planted firmly and I must walk circumspectly as I help people.

"Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared." -Proverbs 22:24-25

In other words: Don't perch next to the stupid chicken that you know will knock you down...and also, don't be the stupid chicken yourself.

The Beauty of a Barfing Cow

"Blessed is the man whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night." -Psalm 1:2

I remember as a child when I was taught this verse. I was taught that "meditating on the Word" was akin to "ruminating". I vaguely understood what it meant, and so I would open my Bible to read a verse with the vision of a barfing cow in my mind. I would promptly close my Bible and go do something more meaningless, yet soothing.

In my current, deeper walk with the Lord, I refuse to be intimidated by the image of a barfing cow. However, God beckoned me to look deeper into the process of rumination in order to understand why this word is so important in understanding the act of "meditating on the law of the Lord".

When a ruminant (cow, goat, antelope, deer, sheep, etc.) takes a bite of grass, it's only slightly chewed before it's swallowed. Now, grass and brush are coarse fibers that require a lot of breaking down before the body can properly utilize it's nutrients. The first place the grass goes is into the rumen. The rumen is a large fermentation vat. It's loaded with bacteria that breaks down the food and gives off enormous amounts of methane. However, once around isn't enough, so the ruminant will burp up it's cud to be chewed again while it's at rest.

"O my people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter things hidden from of old." -Psalm 78:1&2

After being chewed twice, the cud will pass on into the reticulum. The inside structure of the reticulum looks like a honeycomb. The Word of God, to someone who is searching for truth, is sweeter than honey. In the reticulum, there will be further fermentation to break down the food.

"Whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." -Philippians 4:8

From the reticulum, the cud will now enter into the omasum. The omasum is interesting because it's insides resemble the pages of a book, and it is here that excess liquid is removed and the size of the food is vastly decreased. The book we rely most heavily on is obviously the bible. The bible acts as a filter for all the information we're bombarded with on a daily basis. It is the standard for truth, and anything excess is sponged away when placed next to this awesome plumb line.

"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." -2 Timothy 3:16&17

Lastly, there is the abomasum. The abomasum is most like a human stomach as it secretes enzymes that break down the food to it's final stage before hitting the intestines. The abomasum is the stomach that a baby ruminant uses to process it's mother's milk. If the milk goes into any other compartment, it could make the animal very sick. All other compartments must be developed through practice and experience! After a few days of life, a baby ruminant will nibble it's mother's hair, feces, and bits of hay in order to introduce the much needed bacteria and fibers into it's other stomach compartments. As it's tolerance for complex fibers grows, it's first stomach shrinks. Within a couple months, the rumen will grow to be the largest of the four compartments. As much as the abomasum is desperately needed for the first part of it's life, if the ruminant were to continue drinking milk and never develop it's rumen, it's growth would be stunted.

"Anyone who lives on milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for he mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil." -Hebrews 5:13-14

What we meditate on and take into our inmost parts, will come back up and onto our tongues. What we continue to swallow, will one day come out of us, and we will show the world what it is we have been meditating upon. Ruminate on the Word of God. Don't quickly glaze over some passages or mindlessly recite them. These are the oracles of our Creator! Take time to really digest them, and speak them, and live them. Remember, what you put in your "think tank", will pass onto your "doo tank".

"Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." -Philippians 4:9

"If you read quickly, it will benefit you little. You will be like a bee that merely skims the surface of a flower. Instead, in this new way of reading with prayer, you must become as the bee who penetrates into the depths of the flower. You plunge deeply within to remove the deepest nectar." -Madame Guyon