Yuck.

Well, I've grown sick and tired
Of trying to stand still;
I've learned to let the wind
Blow me where it will;
To throw myself into the will of the wave.
How can we ever be brave until we're free?
Between the river and the raven I'm fed.
Between oblivion and blazes I'm led.
So Father give me faith
In providence and grace.
Between the river and the ravens I'm fed,
Oh sweet Deliverer, you lift up my head
And lead me in your ways."

-Dustin Kensrue

This song was originally written about trusting God as your provider, but it's altogether about trusting. This popped into my head as I considered blogging about something God has been revealing to me, but I've been reluctant to share. Ah, so I will let the wind of the Holy Spirit blow me where it will and be brave and free of man's opinion, or fear of their reaction.

THIS BLOG COMES WITH A WARNING! THE TITLE 'YUCK' IS APPROPRIATE. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

Have you ever known that there was something pure and good that God desired for you, but you didn't pursue it? And instead, you sought a perverted form of comfort that was (at best) sloppy seconds to what nature intended? Have you ever desired something that was very bad for you? Please, don't answer these questions out loud; but if you're brave enough to continue, just do that...

As the routine readers of this blog are aware of, my son received two jersey calves for his sixth birthday. They were wee little babies, fresh from the womb, and we've been bottle raising them. However, as I've begun to reduce the amount of milk they receive to wean them, they've adopted a habit that I'm reluctant to share. They long to drink from the underside of a cow, so they suckle each other's...um....well....they drink each other's pee. They are so stupid, that instinct permeates their brain and the enlightened thought of 'this is not milk, nor an udder, but my friend's salty urine' doesn't occur to them. They will literally let go of the bottle filled with fresh milk to indulge a nutritionless and disgusting pursuit.

Why am I sharing this? Well, because as I cringe and wimper at the sight of it, God speaks to me and says,"Have you forgotten the times you tried to satisfy your desires with something unnatural? This is what it's like."

Oh, dear God! Thank you so much for the VIVID and REPULSIVE and OH SO GRAPHIC reminder that YOU are HOLY and when we don't obtain your best, but satisfy ourselves and settle for the vulgar things that pop into our heads, we are committing A VILE OFFENSE to you!

"For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles...Although they know God's righteous decreee that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them." -Romans 1:21-23 &32.

I know that the illustration above is just about cows and that they will not incur a curse for their stupidity and grossness. However, in this passage of scripture, it reveals that people who turn from God's best and instead give themselves over to unnatural imitations, will be basically waving a flag over their heads drawing the attention of God's wrath. It says that they 'internalize' a curse. God is indeed a loving Lord, compassionate on those who make mistakes. He is merciful enough to give us lots of chances to make the right decisions. There are still natural consequences, though, and it's not okay to do whatever comes into your head. He is also a God of order, and to let your soul become chaotic by being carnal, stupid, and indulgent will bring consequences.

Lord, restore me. Thank you for restoring me so quickly from the time I chose not to walk with you and abide in your wisdom. "Let thy goodness like a fetter bind my wandering heart to thee." Deliver me from YUCK. Amen.