A Last Days Garden

"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God-- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires." - 1 Timothy 3:1-6

"...having a form of godliness but denying it's power..." I mutter to myself as I am on my hands and knees in the wet dirt of my berry patch. I have an assortment of blueberry plants and strawberry plants, but more so I have an extensive collection of weeds.

My gardening throughout history entailed mostly just ripping off the leaves and stems and leaving the root because that was the easy thing to do. However, God spoke to me and told me that this practice left my garden looking lovely for a few days...maybe a week...but under the surface, the weed was still alive and in the process of re-emerging. "This is sin," He said. I knew what He meant. He didn't mean that it was a sin to improperly weed my garden, He meant that it was a picture of how to inappropriately deal with sin.

My husband coined a term in the recent past called "sin management". This means to deal with sin on the surface so that you'll look supremely righteous, but to leave it alive and vibrant under the surface and waiting for the right time to manifest again. This is how I've gardened. This is how I've dealt with weeds. If I'm to be an effective gardener, I MUST pull the whole weed out, including the root, or else it'll just keep coming back.

My garden has often had "the form of being appropriately weeded" but has lacked the "power" it could have if it truly was free of the weeds that were robbing it's nutrients. The weeds seek to overtake the garden through what we perceive to be maliciousness ("they are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women... or weak-willed berry plants?).

"Having the form of godliness..." I mutter again to myself as I force myself to to weed the effective way. I know that this is not the last battle. Even if I pull out every weed the right way, more will come as the wind carries the seeds. In our world, we can rid ourselves of every known sin, but it doesn't change the fact that we live in a corrupt world and sin is literally carried on a breeze. It's rather unavoidable as far as encountering it is concerned. However, we are not called to be in a bubble, but to weed our own garden and re-examine our own hearts daily to keep our berry patches healthy and fruitful.

I want to walk in the full power of Christ. I want to bear all the fruit He can hang on my branches, and I also want that fruit to be sweet and nourishing. In these last days, full of weeds and malicious deeds, I long for my garden to stand out and be useful and effective. Lord Jesus! I also want to help others weed their gardens. Let us have FULL GODLINESS! FULL POWER! FREE FROM SIN!

Let us be lovers of others, lovers of Christ, meek, humble, kind, obedient, grateful, holy, loving, forgiving, encouraging, self-controlled, restoring, lovers of good, trust-worthy, wise, unconceited, lovers of the things of God...Amen.

Of Bread and Spirit

No major religions in the world (yes, I'm sure there's some obscure cult out there that is different) impose fasting upon their animals. Does a Muslim have his camel fast? Does a Buddhist have his dog fast? Does a Jew have his sheep fast? The answer will be a resounding 'no' because there is no higher level of character building the camel, the dog or the sheep can obtain by fasting.

Here at Provision Farm, we feed our livestock every day. If we don't, they waste away. They are a product. Any troubles they suffer could never be remedied by the practice of fasting. All of their troubles will be strictly physical or behavioral. The only remedy for these is either veterinary care or the the slaughterhouse.

Have we animalized humans to think that our problems can only be remedied the same way? That we either should medicate ourselves or euthanize? Or, more discreetly, do we placate ourselves with less offensive addictions and defaming people in our hearts?

This week, we have been practicing the beautiful art of fasting. It refines humans the way it cannot refine an animal. Even those of false religions who do not know the Lord know that fasting is an essential part of seeking character-building and a deeper spiritual walk (even if that walk is assuredly misdirected).

Matthew 4:4 "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God."

Our soul cannot be sustained by food. True soul food is delving into the word of God. The scriptures have been likened to food throughout. Ezekiel was given a scroll to eat and it tasted like honey. For young believers, the word of God feeds them like milk and for mature believers, it feeds them like meat. "Open wide your mouth and I will fill it!" -Psalm 81:10. When God puts His word in our mouth, it's as good as food! It's soul food!

"I tell you the truth, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven (manna), but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world...I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away." -John 6:32-37

This is a wonderful revelation we have the privilege of being partakers of that we cannot bring our animals into. Christ came that we may have life and have it more abundantly. If life was sustained only by food, then we'd have a meaningless existence serving only our belly. Esau found out how useless a god his belly is. Every evil person who lives only for the next "thing" to satisfy himself will in turn never be truly satisfied. Only the Bread of Life will ever truly satisfy.

"Is not this not the kind of fast I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter--when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I." -Isaiah 58:6-9

Lord, I am made in your image and nothing this earth produces can satisfy me for more than a short while. In your image, I am a spiritual being in need of spiritual food. Satisfy me, Lord, in my spirit first. Through me, accomplish your great wonders so that your name may be glorified and echo throughout the far reaches of the human heart and all creation. My mouth is open wide...fill it.

Thorns and Sweetness

"Some of God's most precious gifts come in packages that make our hands bleed when we open them."-Sheila Walsh

Summertime in the country is a blessed time. It seems every other person's driveway has a vegetable stand outside or at least a sign for fresh eggs. About this time of year, the berries are ripening.

This evening, we went to pick blackberries. We went to a local person's house who had a nondescript acre or two of uncleared brush with a few blackberry bushes hidden inside. Standing outside the huge wall of leaves, thorns, and saplings, one wouldn't likely suspect that there was anything worthwhile inside. However, I was told there were blackberries inside, so I delved in.

Every berry literally had to be fought for. The blackberry branches were hopelessly intertwined with horrid thorn bushes along with the thorns that they themselves produced. I had branches clutching my clothing and snagging my hair. They raked across my skin and left me with the sensation that about 500 angry cats were biting and scratching me all at once. After battling this scenario for a sweaty, bloody 2 hours, I walked out of the thorn patch with about a quart and a half of blackberries.

In the midst of my war with the thorns, the Lord spoke to me and said,"What are you thinking right now, daughter?" I impatiently pulled a thorn from my palm and said,"Well, Lord, I'm thinking that anything worth having is worth some trouble to get." Peace flooded me and God said,"Yes, daughter. A lot like you."

"Like a lily among thorns is my darling among other women." - Song of Solomon 2:2. Though this verse is about a man loving a woman, Song of Solomon is in the Bible mostly because it's also a love letter from God to His beloved Bride, the Church(or at the time it was written, the people of Israel). The world is a nest of thorns, and he fought through the thorns around my heart to rescue what sweetness He could find. That sweetness was my hunger and thirst for truth and righteousness. I was that lily that drew His attention and affection. Hallelujah! My Lord found me and plucked me out from among those thorns.

With a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye, I recount of another set of thorns my Lord endured in order to rescue me:

"They stripped off his clothes and put on him a scarlet robe, wove thorn-branches into a crown and put it on his head, and put a stick in his right hand. Then they kneeled down in front of him and made fun of him: 'Hail to the King of the Jews!' They spit on him and used the stick to beat him about the head. When they had finished ridiculing him, they took off the robe, put his own clothes back on him and led him away to be nailed to the execution stake." -Matthew 27:28-31

All beautiful things are worth rescuing. All great things come at a cost. All sweetness can only be enjoyed when fought for. We are worth it in the eyes of God.

"Why did it have to be a friend who chose to betray the Lord
And why did He use a kiss to show them, that's not what a kiss is for
Only a friend can betray a friend, a stranger has nothing to gain
And only a friend comes close enough to ever cause so much pain

And why did there have to be a thorny crown pressed upon His head
It should have been a royal one made of jewels and gold instead
It had to be a crown of thorns, because in this life that we live
All who would seek to love, a thorn is all the world has to give

And why did it have to be a heavy cross He was made to bear
And why did they nail His feet and hands, His love would have held Him there
It was a cross, for upon a cross a thief was supposed to pay
And Jesus had come into this world to steal every heart away

JESUS HAD COME INTO THE WORLD TO STEAL EVERY HEART AWAY

-Michael Card

My Wedding Ring

The work I do has had a devastating effect upon my wedding ring. Anymore, I cannot wear it. When I milk my goats, my ring pinches painfully as I squeeze. When I sit to rest, chickens inevitably are drawn to the metallic shine of it and peck at my finger. It is tarnished, dented, and misshapen. When first purchased, it was a lovely sterling silver that had the words "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" engraved into it. Anymore, the letters are mashed and filled with little unidentifiable foreign objects that obscure the message.

Such things are bound to happen as life is filled with work, difficulties, and strife. At times, the ring itself was a good metaphor of the state of our marriage. Sin and strife left our relationship tarnished, dented, and misshapen.

Keeping our hearts in love with each other is a project at times. I cannot just "take off" my marriage as I've done with the ring. How do you just put on and take off a person?! Life has assailed the state of my marriage same as it's done my ring. I can break my ring...but can I break my word? I promised to love, honor, and obey my husband forever. Until one of us is swept up to be claimed as Christ's bride, we are each other's spouse.

A covenant is like a living thing; the elephant in the bedroom, if you will. According to the Bible, a covenant stands as a witness between the involved parties. So no matter how battered and bruised your relationship is, the covenant will hold you accountable to itself. As fearsome as that sounds, it is also meant to be a source of comfort, because it is a living, inextinguishable thing. It is something you can place hope into. Like God Himself, it will not move even when the people do.

Oh, but to labor to honor a person who hurts you can be wearisome, can it not? I remember a time when my husband and I were perhaps at our most distant, and I drove the car around town in the middle of night aimlessly. I had a burning anger in my heart because I felt as if God had planted me in a situation in which it was impossible to be content. My heart had left not only my family, but my God. Then, ever so clearly, the Lord spoke to me and said: "I have not abandoned your husband and I have not abandoned you. Who are you to abandoned who I have not? Are you greater than me?" Appropriately shamed, I returned home and took up my cross again.

"Think about Him who endured such hostility against himself from sinners, so that you won't grow tired or become despondent." -Hebrews 12:3

Though there may not be any hope for my pathetic, dirty little ring...there is hope for what it symbolizes. I am eternally bound to the man I pledged myself to. Better yet, God has eternally pledged Himself as the rear guard to our covenant with each other. Our covenant will be honored and we will weather the storms...together.

(a poem)

Sometimes, all I have is hope--
As attached to my soul
As my foot is to my body.

Sometimes, when the floor sinks
And the walls cave in,
My very soul grows cloudy.

When I find I stand on nothingness
And no one's around to help,
I call upon my best resource--hope.

Growing tall from my heart (like a tree);
And branches intertwining, undistinguished--
Drawing forth my ability to cope.

From the tangled branches sprout leaves
To gather warmth from where they can,
To choke out the coldness within me.

My tree grows from the dirt in my life
And the rocks I fall upon;
No one understands, but I'd die without my tree.

"I waited patiently for Adonai, till he turned toward me and heard my cry. He brought me up from the roaring pit, up from the muddy ooze, and set my feet on a rock, making my footing firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will look on in awe and put their trust in Adonai." -Psalm 40:1-3

I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony. Like my ring, my marriage has received it's share of blows. Idols had to be torn down in the name of Christ and holiness. Many idols could be found by looking in the mirror. I share my stories of pain and defeat because that is not the end. I haven't "ended up" anywhere yet, but I can tell you where I'm going. I am headed toward the things of God. The wear on my marriage is now my story of victory because God has made all things new.

Unclean

"Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what he has made crooked?" -Ecclesiastes 7:13

Some things are just unclean. They can't help it; they were made that way. Take for instance the common household fly...

I had a friend recently ask me,"Why did God make flies?" I am usually rather quick to answer such an agriculturally spiritual question, but this one had me stumped. "Let me ponder this," I said; and so I have. I've spent days researching the Scriptures and praying about flies. Is this pointless? Hardly. Nothing that takes you to the Lord and His Word is pointless.

What I've come to understand is that flies have the business of making things defiled. When a fly lands in your drink, will you continue to drink it? I hope not. When that ugly little insect plants himself on your sandwich and raises his little back legs to rub together, are you inclined to just watch the beauty of it? Not likely. There are whole sections of the manufacturing world dedicated to the deflection and removal of flies. Every day in the summer, I spray down my horses with a fly repellent or else the flies swarm them as if they're already dead. In my home, I hang fly paper in strategic locations to keep them from landing in places I don't want them. Outside my doors, I hang traps with a fly bait in them so that flies will crawl into them and not be able to get out. Many people buy another insect that feeds on fly larvae so that they don't mature. In general, the fly is despised because it's dirty.

Flies contaminate. They spread disease. They leave little, nasty dark spots where they've lingered. Why, God? Why the fly?

Flies in Scripture were used as a form of pestilence upon Pharaoh. They were a tool to punish him for his stubborn oppression of the Hebrews.

"As dead flies give perfume a bad smell, so a little folly outweighs wisdom and honor." -Ecclesiastes 10:1

It is easy to make something unclean. One little fly landing in your drink will contaminate your whole drink. Simply removing the fly is not enough, because he's already permeated your drink with his filth. According to the covenant between Israel and God, anything that was unclean had rigid guidelines for becoming clean again...and it was never as easy as becoming unclean. Some things were irreparable, but most things were cleansed in a variety of ways: Blood sacrifice, Ash, Hyssop, Fire, Water. These are the five most common elements I found in Scripture used for cleansing.

1)Blood- I understand that blood is the carrier of life. It delivers nutrients and oxygen for the regeneration of cells. It is the principle of life; it is vitality itself. It delivers essential things to what was deficient and helps make things whole.

2)Ash- It is the residue of a thing that was burned. Ash in our lives signifies that we've been tried by a fire and what is left is clean. Whatever makes it through the fire of Adonai is what is worthwhile to Him. In the Bible, people put ash on themselves in mourning to remember their own mortality and that they needed to live a life that would pass through the fire of the Almighty. Reflecting on such things has a very purifying effect.

3)Hyssop- This is an herb of the mint family that has been used to cure indigestion. It is oftentimes planted among other vegetables because it deters pests that would eat them. It was used in the Bible to paint the doorposts of the Hebrews with lamb's blood during the first Passover, and it was used to lift the vinegar soaked sponge up to Jesus on the cross.

4)Fire- Our God is a consuming fire. Fire eats up dross. Anything worthless in the eyes of our God is incinerated. Only hard, lasting things will remain. Fire flushes impurities and causes them to show themselves. Other things that are unclean, fire can cause to simply die. It is the great separator of the temporal and eternal. Fire is a visible, active phase of combustion, manifested in light and heat.

5)Water- This is the one element that all life requires to live. There is no variation in that. Water flows and cleanses and washes. It is powerful and can sweep away filth. Consider the story of Noah. When the world was evil, God chose water to make it like new.

What man can straighten what God has made crooked? The answer is no man. We cannot make the fly clean. We cannot wash away our sins. We cannot remedy our natural bent toward pain, destruction, selfishness, etc. All these things are things only God can do if He so chooses. You could sacrifice an animal, you could dump ashes on your head, you could scrub yourself with hyssop, you could run through flames, and you could nearly drown yourself in an ocean....but you cannot cleanse yourself of your guilt and you cannot make yourself clean.

"If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives." -1 John 1:7-10

There is one way to be made whole; there is one way to be made clean. His name is Jesus Christ, God's Risen Son. His blood is sufficient for me. His blood is sufficient for you. Before we come to Christ, we live as flies: contaminating everything we touch. "Without Christ, we do nothing but add sin to sin." -John Wesley. With Christ working in us, and us yielding to His guidance, we no longer have to live crooked and unclean. We can be bearers of life, sharing in the fellowship of His suffering, easing suffering and protecting, separating the holy from the profane, and powerfully sweeping away all that contaminates us. Hallelujah!

Hospitality

The dictionary defines hospitality like this: "The act of being kind and generous in manner toward guests, affording or expressing welcome and generosity toward guests. To be receptive in mind."

What is hospitality to you? The Bible says in Romans 12:13 to "Practice hospitality." Does that mean that you should clean your bathroom before your guest arrives and offer them a cup of coffee when they do arrive? Maybe. What if hospitality demands more, though? How far would you go to be a good host? Is your house really your friend's house?

I ask this because we have our hospitality stretched and redefined and challenged over and over. As a farm, people want to experience here what they cannot experience at their own home. They can experience a clean bathroom and a cup of coffee anywhere (well, almost anywhere), but can they explore and experiment everywhere? Not really. Is your home somewhere that they can?

Allow me to tell you a story:

One day, a friend who lives in the city asked me if that day would be a good one to bring his son to visit and play. I hesitated, knowing I was busy that day, but decided to allow them to come because life is short and my tasks would wait, and we never know what we are forgoing when we put tasks above the importance of people. So, they asked what they could do to have fun here, and I gave the standard response of bottle-feeding a baby goat, giving treats to the horses, etc. Then I mentioned that I had a goat to butcher, and my respective guest asked if he could help. Again, I hesitated, but decided to acquiesce further and offer that he could shoot it. He was delighted and immediately loaded his family into the car, along with his shotgun and drove to my house.
Upon arrival, I brought him to the barn and roped a basically wild goat for butchering. I dragged him, leaping and flailing, out of the barn and tied him to the trailer hitch so he couldn't be a running target. My guest loaded his gun and took aim. His wife stood next to me, half-shielding her face and sticking her fingers in her ears. *BAM*! The first shot was off-target and put a hole in the goat's jaw. My guest grimaced and his wife yelled,"The poor thing! Just kill it!" He reloaded his gun and quickly lined up another shot. *BAM*! Unfortunately, he just made the hole in the jaw larger and the goat was bawling with his tongue and chin hanging limply open. I pulled my guest over behind the goat and pointed with my finger precisely where he needed to shoot to kill the goat immediately. He rummaged in his pocket for another shotgun shell, but found he was out. He ran to the car to get another bullet while his wife and I simply watched the goat bleed and bawl. On his way back, my son stopped him and asked,"Do you like putting holes in goats?" As if he didn't feel bad enough! He loaded his shotgun one more time and successfully dispatched of the goat.
Here now, my work began. I had to string the goat up on the gambrel hook, pelt it, gut it, wash it, and process it into roasts and ground before it spoiled because the weather was warm. He was too traumatized by his failure to quickly dispatch of the goat to join in on the rest of the labor. His wife helped take the pelt off a little bit, but both of them needed to shake the experience from their minds a little, so they distanced themselves from the task. When my husband came home, he helped clean up the mess and finish processing the carcass.

How far would you go for hospitality?

"Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." 1 Peter 4:10

To be blameless before the Lord, we must be willing to not withhold any good thing from those we claim we love. Are you willing to be stinky, dirty, tired, bloody, etc so that others may be glad they came to your home?

These particular guests are remembering their visit to my farm to this day. I hope they consider me a friend who prefers them above myself. My life is not my own, my home is not my own, my time is not my own. All I do must be to the glory of God....even if the picture of this resembles a goat with a detached jaw.

Sustainable Living

"Adonai's trees are satisfied--the cedars of Lebanon, which he has planted. In them sparrows built their nests, while storks live in the fir trees."-Psalm 104:16

A buzz word around here is "sustainable agriculture". The idea behind it is to make sure that as you harvest from the land, that you manage to give back and take care of the land at the same time. Many people do it by spreading manure back onto their lands and sowing minerals back into their soil. Most important, is to remember the essence of "bio-diversity". To respect bio-diversity, you must remember that living things were never meant to be segregated, but integrated. For instance, God didn't send the bunnies to Vermont and the foxes to Indiana and the deer to Montana....he integrated living things to benefit from each other. The more that farming can mimic that, the more it will be a "sustainable" farm that gives back to the land that gives to the farmer.

The Lord led me to meditate on this. What is "sustainable living"? I believe that sustainable living is firstly remembering that all life comes from God. Psalm 104:27-30 says,"All of them look to you to give them their food when they need it. When you give it to them, they gather it; when you open your hand, they are well satisfied. If you hide your face, they vanish; if you hold back their breath, they perish and return to their dust. If you send out your breath, they are created, and you renew the face of the earth."
The Lord provides for all He has created according to His flawless will. The trees have no want for water unless He is withholding that water for a divine purpose. He keeps the tree either watered or not based upon his particular use for that tree. In verse 16, referenced above, it mentions that in the well-watered tree a sparrow can build it's nest. I long to be the sort of tree that the Lord can feel confident enough in that He may lead a "sparrow" to "nest" in me. In other words, I'd like people to find a home in my heart, and feel safe enough to bring the vulnerability of their lives into me to find a place to grow. May I be pleasing to you, Adonai. Amen. However, a tree cannot water itself.

"Think about the wild irises, and how they grow. They neither work nor spin thread; yet, I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory was clothed as beautifully as one of these. If this is how God clothes grass, which is alive in the field today and thrown in the oven tomorrow, how much more will he clothe you! What little trust you have!" -Luke 12:27&28
What little trust we have. We long to have our neat little life in our neat little box with our neat little labels so that WE CAN UNDERSTAND IT! Oh, but what peace we forfeit when we don't yield to God's design for things. Unless the Lord builds the house, he labors in vain who builds it. Trust in Adonai, and find yourself sustained. Even if the Lord withholds your rain or your physical breath, you will find your soul sustained by the peace that passes understanding. The riches of heaven are not jewels or gold or filthy mammon of any kind. The riches of heaven include shalom and brotherly love.

Seek first your first love....your Creator and Sustainer. Be a place others can call home as you lean on the sustenance and peace of Adonai. Don't strive. For anything.

THAT is sustainable living. "Give, and you will receive gifts--the full measure, compacted, shaken together and overflowing, will be put right in your lap. For the measure with which you measure out will be used to measure back to you!" -Luke 6:38