Friday, August 27, 2010

Repentence and Yielding



Psalm 32:9 says,"Don't be like a horse or mule that has no understanding, that has to be curbed with bit and bridle, or else it won't come near you."

Indeed, as much as I'll admit how beautiful a horse is and how peaceful it is to watch them graze or frolic, I will also be among the first to tell you that they are stupid. They, as the psalmist David puts it, 'have no understanding'. I will also tell you that the stupidest horse is one that is crazed with hormones. I have no stallion, so I have no horror stories of a sex-crazed male, but I have two mares that are obvious when they are in heat. My tennessee walker mare, Promise, will become downright mouthy when she's in heat and will bite like crazy. My back, shoulders, and arms are still bearing bruises from her last heat cycle as she always waits until I'm not looking to take sample taste of me. My haflinger, however, is not as young and impish, so her hormonal stupidity manifests in less childish (but no less troublesome) ways.

I was unaware that she had started a heat cycle when I suggested to my husband that we work on her training more. The last session, we introduced a bit that went into the mouth. Previously, we used a hackamore bit which doesn't go into the mouth, but directs the head by metal bars that push on the cheeks when you pull the reigns (it's a less invasive way to train a horse when they're nervous, but less effective in getting them controlled). Anyway, I put the bit and bridle on her, saddled her, and helped my husband mount. Immediately, Psalm began to smack her lips (her personal warning sign that she was upset). Daniel was on her a grand total of a minute before she simply sat down and rolled on him.

The next day, still in heat, she had thrown her halter off and I needed to get it back on (a halter for a horse is much like a collar for a dog...you will have no hope of controlling them or restraining them without it). Psalm saw me approaching and took off like a bullet, running circles around the paddock. She would stop about ten feet in front of me, I would approach with the halter and a treat, then she'd take off as soon as I touched her. Round and round, again and again we went. A few times, she'd square up her buttocks in front of me, prepping to give a kick. "Glue factory" I yelled at her. "Dog food!" I screamed as I dodged her attempts. After an hour or so, I got her halter back on and left the paddock until her heat cycle was over. Now she's back to her sweet self and my husband even took her for a ride last night.

My point in telling this story is that a horse is a ridiculously dumb beast with a very immature level of understanding. As powerful and beautiful and fun as they are, they need a master or else they are more of a danger than they are of a true use. The minute we accept Christ as our Lord, it's much like a horse accepting a rider. When Jesus is in our hearts, it's much like taking a bridle on our heads. Do not make it difficult for the Lord to catch you. Let Jesus reign and lead you. The Lord told me once,"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. You choose." Accepting Christ as our rider, can we submit ourselves to be controlled in gentle ways?

There are many gentle ways to lead a horse. You can move them off of leg pressure or even neck reign them (laying the reigns against the neck instead of pulling on them), and there are even verbal commands. A horse like that is usually not born able to receive commands like that; it requires a great deal of training....training from a patient and kind master.

"Perhaps you despise the riches of His kindness, forbearance and patience; because you don't realize that God's kindness is intended to lead you to turn from your sins. But by your stubbornness, by your unrepentant heart, you are storing up anger for yourself on the Day of Anger, when God's righteous judgment will be revealed." -Romans 2:4&5

We will refrain from using a severe bit in our horses's mouths if and whenever possible. It's their choice. If they respond to our gentle leadings, they will avoid much discomfort. Either way, the quickest way for us to ruin them is to lose patience and act in anger. An unteachable horse is destined for the kill buyer (glue and dog food) as much as we are destined for God's anger and judgement when we are unteachable.

Respond to the kindness of God. Accept it. Submit to it. He is a good Master. He is also Lord, and one day, every knee will bow and every tongue confess that He indeed is so. So get it out of the way and yield to Him and His teaching now before you must be subjected to more rigid training tools....or worse, His judgement.

Monday, August 23, 2010

A Last Days Garden




"But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God-- having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them. They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires." - 1 Timothy 3:1-6

"...having a form of godliness but denying it's power..." I mutter to myself as I am on my hands and knees in the wet dirt of my berry patch. I have an assortment of blueberry plants and strawberry plants, but more so I have an extensive collection of weeds.

My gardening throughout history entailed mostly just ripping off the leaves and stems and leaving the root because that was the easy thing to do. However, God spoke to me and told me that this practice left my garden looking lovely for a few days...maybe a week...but under the surface, the weed was still alive and in the process of re-emerging. "This is sin," He said. I knew what He meant. He didn't mean that it was a sin to improperly weed my garden, He meant that it was a picture of how to inappropriately deal with sin.

My husband coined a term in the recent past called "sin management". This means to deal with sin on the surface so that you'll look supremely righteous, but to leave it alive and vibrant under the surface and waiting for the right time to manifest again. This is how I've gardened. This is how I've dealt with weeds. If I'm to be an effective gardener, I MUST pull the whole weed out, including the root, or else it'll just keep coming back.

My garden has often had "the form of being appropriately weeded" but has lacked the "power" it could have if it truly was free of the weeds that were robbing it's nutrients. The weeds seek to overtake the garden through what we perceive to be maliciousness ("they are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women... or weak-willed berry plants?).

"Having the form of godliness..." I mutter again to myself as I force myself to to weed the effective way. I know that this is not the last battle. Even if I pull out every weed the right way, more will come as the wind carries the seeds. In our world, we can rid ourselves of every known sin, but it doesn't change the fact that we live in a corrupt world and sin is literally carried on a breeze. It's rather unavoidable as far as encountering it is concerned. However, we are not called to be in a bubble, but to weed our own garden and re-examine our own hearts daily to keep our berry patches healthy and fruitful.

I want to walk in the full power of Christ. I want to bear all the fruit He can hang on my branches, and I also want that fruit to be sweet and nourishing. In these last days, full of weeds and malicious deeds, I long for my garden to stand out and be useful and effective. Lord Jesus! I also want to help others weed their gardens. Let us have FULL GODLINESS! FULL POWER! FREE FROM SIN!

Let us be lovers of others, lovers of Christ, meek, humble, kind, obedient, grateful, holy, loving, forgiving, encouraging, self-controlled, restoring, lovers of good, trust-worthy, wise, unconceited, lovers of the things of God...Amen.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Of Bread and Spirit



No major religions in the world (yes, I'm sure there's some obscure cult out there that is different) impose fasting upon their animals. Does a Muslim have his camel fast? Does a Buddhist have his dog fast? Does a Jew have his sheep fast? The answer will be a resounding 'no' because there is no higher level of character building the camel, the dog or the sheep can obtain by fasting.

Here at Provision Farm, we feed our livestock every day. If we don't, they waste away. They are a product. Any troubles they suffer could never be remedied by the practice of fasting. All of their troubles will be strictly physical or behavioral. The only remedy for these is either veterinary care or the the slaughterhouse.

Have we animalized humans to think that our problems can only be remedied the same way? That we either should medicate ourselves or euthanize? Or, more discreetly, do we placate ourselves with less offensive addictions and defaming people in our hearts?

This week, we have been practicing the beautiful art of fasting. It refines humans the way it cannot refine an animal. Even those of false religions who do not know the Lord know that fasting is an essential part of seeking character-building and a deeper spiritual walk (even if that walk is assuredly misdirected).

Matthew 4:4 "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God."

Our soul cannot be sustained by food. True soul food is delving into the word of God. The scriptures have been likened to food throughout. Ezekiel was given a scroll to eat and it tasted like honey. For young believers, the word of God feeds them like milk and for mature believers, it feeds them like meat. "Open wide your mouth and I will fill it!" -Psalm 81:10. When God puts His word in our mouth, it's as good as food! It's soul food!

"I tell you the truth, it is not Moses who has given you the bread from heaven (manna), but it is my Father who gives you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world...I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away." -John 6:32-37

This is a wonderful revelation we have the privilege of being partakers of that we cannot bring our animals into. Christ came that we may have life and have it more abundantly. If life was sustained only by food, then we'd have a meaningless existence serving only our belly. Esau found out how useless a god his belly is. Every evil person who lives only for the next "thing" to satisfy himself will in turn never be truly satisfied. Only the Bread of Life will ever truly satisfy.

"Is not this not the kind of fast I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter--when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I." -Isaiah 58:6-9

Lord, I am made in your image and nothing this earth produces can satisfy me for more than a short while. In your image, I am a spiritual being in need of spiritual food. Satisfy me, Lord, in my spirit first. Through me, accomplish your great wonders so that your name may be glorified and echo throughout the far reaches of the human heart and all creation. My mouth is open wide...fill it.

Friday, August 6, 2010

Thorns and Sweetness


"Some of God's most precious gifts come in packages that make our hands bleed when we open them."-Sheila Walsh

Summertime in the country is a blessed time. It seems every other person's driveway has a vegetable stand outside or at least a sign for fresh eggs. About this time of year, the berries are ripening.

This evening, we went to pick blackberries. We went to a local person's house who had a nondescript acre or two of uncleared brush with a few blackberry bushes hidden inside. Standing outside the huge wall of leaves, thorns, and saplings, one wouldn't likely suspect that there was anything worthwhile inside. However, I was told there were blackberries inside, so I delved in.

Every berry literally had to be fought for. The blackberry branches were hopelessly intertwined with horrid thorn bushes along with the thorns that they themselves produced. I had branches clutching my clothing and snagging my hair. They raked across my skin and left me with the sensation that about 500 angry cats were biting and scratching me all at once. After battling this scenario for a sweaty, bloody 2 hours, I walked out of the thorn patch with about a quart and a half of blackberries.

In the midst of my war with the thorns, the Lord spoke to me and said,"What are you thinking right now, daughter?" I impatiently pulled a thorn from my palm and said,"Well, Lord, I'm thinking that anything worth having is worth some trouble to get." Peace flooded me and God said,"Yes, daughter. A lot like you."

"Like a lily among thorns is my darling among other women." - Song of Solomon 2:2. Though this verse is about a man loving a woman, Song of Solomon is in the Bible mostly because it's also a love letter from God to His beloved Bride, the Church(or at the time it was written, the people of Israel). The world is a nest of thorns, and he fought through the thorns around my heart to rescue what sweetness He could find. That sweetness was my hunger and thirst for truth and righteousness. I was that lily that drew His attention and affection. Hallelujah! My Lord found me and plucked me out from among those thorns.

With a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye, I recount of another set of thorns my Lord endured in order to rescue me:

"They stripped off his clothes and put on him a scarlet robe, wove thorn-branches into a crown and put it on his head, and put a stick in his right hand. Then they kneeled down in front of him and made fun of him: 'Hail to the King of the Jews!' They spit on him and used the stick to beat him about the head. When they had finished ridiculing him, they took off the robe, put his own clothes back on him and led him away to be nailed to the execution stake." -Matthew 27:28-31

All beautiful things are worth rescuing. All great things come at a cost. All sweetness can only be enjoyed when fought for. We are worth it in the eyes of God.

"Why did it have to be a friend who chose to betray the Lord
And why did He use a kiss to show them, that's not what a kiss is for
Only a friend can betray a friend, a stranger has nothing to gain
And only a friend comes close enough to ever cause so much pain

And why did there have to be a thorny crown pressed upon His head
It should have been a royal one made of jewels and gold instead
It had to be a crown of thorns, because in this life that we live
All who would seek to love, a thorn is all the world has to give

And why did it have to be a heavy cross He was made to bear
And why did they nail His feet and hands, His love would have held Him there
It was a cross, for upon a cross a thief was supposed to pay
And Jesus had come into this world to steal every heart away

JESUS HAD COME INTO THE WORLD TO STEAL EVERY HEART AWAY


-Michael Card

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

My Wedding Ring




The work I do has had a devastating effect upon my wedding ring. Anymore, I cannot wear it. When I milk my goats, my ring pinches painfully as I squeeze. When I sit to rest, chickens inevitably are drawn to the metallic shine of it and peck at my finger. It is tarnished, dented, and misshapen. When first purchased, it was a lovely sterling silver that had the words "I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" engraved into it. Anymore, the letters are mashed and filled with little unidentifiable foreign objects that obscure the message.

Such things are bound to happen as life is filled with work, difficulties, and strife. At times, the ring itself was a good metaphor of the state of our marriage. Sin and strife left our relationship tarnished, dented, and misshapen.

Keeping our hearts in love with each other is a project at times. I cannot just "take off" my marriage as I've done with the ring. How do you just put on and take off a person?! Life has assailed the state of my marriage same as it's done my ring. I can break my ring...but can I break my word? I promised to love, honor, and obey my husband forever. Until one of us is swept up to be claimed as Christ's bride, we are each other's spouse.

A covenant is like a living thing; the elephant in the bedroom, if you will. According to the Bible, a covenant stands as a witness between the involved parties. So no matter how battered and bruised your relationship is, the covenant will hold you accountable to itself. As fearsome as that sounds, it is also meant to be a source of comfort, because it is a living, inextinguishable thing. It is something you can place hope into. Like God Himself, it will not move even when the people do.

Oh, but to labor to honor a person who hurts you can be wearisome, can it not? I remember a time when my husband and I were perhaps at our most distant, and I drove the car around town in the middle of night aimlessly. I had a burning anger in my heart because I felt as if God had planted me in a situation in which it was impossible to be content. My heart had left not only my family, but my God. Then, ever so clearly, the Lord spoke to me and said: "I have not abandoned your husband and I have not abandoned you. Who are you to abandoned who I have not? Are you greater than me?" Appropriately shamed, I returned home and took up my cross again.

"Think about Him who endured such hostility against himself from sinners, so that you won't grow tired or become despondent." -Hebrews 12:3

Though there may not be any hope for my pathetic, dirty little ring...there is hope for what it symbolizes. I am eternally bound to the man I pledged myself to. Better yet, God has eternally pledged Himself as the rear guard to our covenant with each other. Our covenant will be honored and we will weather the storms...together.

(a poem)

Sometimes, all I have is hope--
As attached to my soul
As my foot is to my body.

Sometimes, when the floor sinks
And the walls cave in,
My very soul grows cloudy.

When I find I stand on nothingness
And no one's around to help,
I call upon my best resource--hope.

Growing tall from my heart (like a tree);
And branches intertwining, undistinguished--
Drawing forth my ability to cope.

From the tangled branches sprout leaves
To gather warmth from where they can,
To choke out the coldness within me.

My tree grows from the dirt in my life
And the rocks I fall upon;
No one understands, but I'd die without my tree.


"I waited patiently for Adonai, till he turned toward me and heard my cry. He brought me up from the roaring pit, up from the muddy ooze, and set my feet on a rock, making my footing firm. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will look on in awe and put their trust in Adonai." -Psalm 40:1-3

I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony. Like my ring, my marriage has received it's share of blows. Idols had to be torn down in the name of Christ and holiness. Many idols could be found by looking in the mirror. I share my stories of pain and defeat because that is not the end. I haven't "ended up" anywhere yet, but I can tell you where I'm going. I am headed toward the things of God. The wear on my marriage is now my story of victory because God has made all things new.