Awake & Understanding

When we were called into farming, we had a lot of information. We couldn't say,"I had no idea what I was getting into" because we had read all the books. Do you want to know something, though? No two-dimensional book could have possibly prepared me for the reality of what we were about to do. All the books could do was give us some vague clues as to what you were about to embark upon so that we weren't ready to throw in the towel after a day.

There is a vast difference between theory and reality. Many times, we are spoon fed an idea only to find out that the experience is entirely different. When I was a child behind a school desk, I learned about a bunch of "stuff". For instance, there was the country of Canada....but it was nothing like actually being in Canada. Being told to not touch poison ivy because it'll make you break out in an itchy rash is no comparison to actually stumbling upon the plant and experiencing the outbreak yourself. From that point forward, you will KNOW that plant and you will have intense motivation for avoiding it.

"I believed in everything. The common people who acted with me seemed to me to be god-like. The painted scenes were my world. I knew nothing but shadows, and I thought them real. You came--oh, my beautiful love! -- and you taught me what reality really is. For the first time in my life, I saw the hollowness, the sham, the silliness of the empty pageant in which I had always played. For the first time, I became conscious that the Romeo was hideous, and old and painted, that the moonlight in the orchard was false, that the scenery was vulgar, and the words I had to speak were unreal, were not my words, were not what I wanted to say. You had brought me something higher, something of which all art is but a reflection. You had made me understand what love really is. My love! My love! Prince of life! I have grown sick of shadows. What have I to do with the puppets of a play?" - Oscar Wilde (Sybil's monologue from 'The Portrait of Dorian Gray')

When Christ moves into our life, the pretense that we were okay beforehand falls away. The whole world begins to look differently. When we thought we had loved people before, we realize that we were in a vicious cycle of deluding not only ourselves, but the person we thought we loved. EVERYTHING changes.

"When I was a child, I spoke like a child, thought like a child, argued like a child; now that I have become a man (woman), I have finished with childish ways. For now we see obscurely in a mirror, but then it will be face to face. Now I know partly; then I will know fully, just as God has fully known me." - 1 Corinthians 13:11&12

Going to Canada taught me about Canada. Owning goats taught me about goats. Contracting sicknesses taught me about the sickness.

****************** and knowing Yeshua******************* the Glorious One******************* has taught me love **************

"I love you, and if you can always, as it were, feel my pulsebeat, you will know many things the knowledge of which will give you sustaining strength. I bare your sins and I wish to carry your burdens. You may have the gift of a light and merry heart. My love bower is the place where you will find it, for My love dispels all fear and is a cure for every ill. Lay your head upon My breast and lose yourself in Me. You shall experience resurrection life and peace; the joy of the Lord shall become your strength; and wells of salvation will be opened within you." - Frances J. Roberts 'Come Away, My Beloved'

Mire

In farming, there are many elements to battle. There are diseases, pestilence, weather, financial loss, fatigue, and emotionally there is sometimes a pendulum swinging between pride and self-defeat. Externally, I'd have to say my greatest enemy is mud.

Mire - "1. an area of wet, yielding earth; swampy ground. 2. deep mud or slush. 3. to smear or soil with mud; defile. 4. to entangle or entrap."

I hate battling mire because it makes what is normally difficult even more so. It reminds me of the Devil. Life is difficult enough, but then HE has to come along and make things even harder; and what more does he desire to do but to defile us and entrap us?

As I trudge out to do my chores on a muddy day, I splash mud on my skirts and then my dog (who loves mud and has been romping in it) runs to me and puts his muddy paws on me, soiling me further. I reach my milking station and proceed to fetch my milking goats. Let's just pretend I have to move a bag of grain to the barn...that means heaving a 50 lb bag on my shoulder and sloshing through mud to the barn. It sucks at my boots and when I step on a muddy rock, my foot slips. My walls are coated with mud. Mud seeps under the cracks in the floor soiling my fresh bedding and caking on my animals. It wedges itself in my goat's feet and causes them great pain and discomfort. They HATE trudging through the mud to the milk stand and I often have to drag them to it. My horses are so heavy that they take a muddy spot and make it a literal quagmire that you will likely lose boots in from their feet churning it into extremely soft and deep earth. Dirt. Filth. Pain. Weary.... it drains me.

What does Scripture have to say about mud?

"The pig washed itself only to wallow in the mud." -2 Peter 2:22.

"..Then he will bring me out to the light, and I will see his justice. My enemies will see it too, and shame will cover those who said to me, 'Where is Adonai your God?' I will gloat over them, as they are trampled underfoot like mud in the streets." -Micah 7:9-10.

"Your own close friends misled you and took advantage of you. Now that your feet are stuck in the mud, they have abandoned you." -Jeremiah 38:22.

"But the wicked are like the restless sea--unable to be still, its waters toss up mud and dirt." -Isaiah 57:22.

"I am sinking down in the mud, and there is no foothold; I have come into deep water; the flood is sweeping over me." -Psalm 69:2.

"God has thrown me into the mud; I have become like dust and ashes."-Job 30:19.

Mud generally doesn't have any positive connotations does it?

However, I cannot shake from my mind a story in which Jesus made mud and used it to heal someone: "As Yeshua passed along, he saw a man blind from birth. His talmidim asked him, 'Rabbi, who sinned- this man or his parents- to cause him to be born blind?' Yeshua answered, 'His blindness is due neither to his sin nor to that of his parents; it happened so that God's power might be seen at work in him. As long as it is day, we must keep doing the work of the One who sent me; the night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world.' Having said this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, put the mud on the man's eyes, and said to him,' Go, and wash off in the Pool of Shiloach! (this name means "sent")'. So he went and washed and came away seeing." -John 9:1-7

What this means to me is that only Jesus can take something filthy to make something whole. Only Christ can take something that soils and ensnares you to restore someone. We are filthy and soiled because we are made of the dust of the earth and all we can produce of ourselves is more filthiness. John Wesley said,"Apart from the Spirit of God, all we can do is add sin to sin."

Christ alone is the firm ground we can stand on. When we are literally trudging through this filthy, wearisome, quagmire world....just know....there is One who tread it also....and He is Master of it. The earth beneath us is shifting (as we always are). God alone is constant. All things in the heavens are in motion except one thing--the sun. There is order in the heavens because they revolve around that one thing. What would the galaxy look like if Neptune revolved around Mars and the moon began to revolve around comets? Chaos! Destruction!

And so we walk circumspectly....we in clay tents. The Serpent feeds off the dust of the earth (and we are the dust of the earth). Behold, brethren: Christ's business is to take your filth and make you new. Don't be surprised if YOU are the dust he wants to spit on to help someone else see.

The Gimpy Hearted

This year, we ordered in 20 golden comet pullet chicks. For those of you not "chicken saavy", a golden comet is a breed of chicken and a pullet is a female. Anyway, we ordered in 20....but there's only half remaining.

There are many forces in nature that war against the life of a chick. There are predators, diseases, and gruesome accidents. And then, there's really dumb goats. This year, I have been unable to keep my chicks alive because they wander over to where the goats are (no problem, this happens all the time), and then the goats reason, at first glance, that these creatures resemble feather pillows. Almost half of my chicks have been thusly steamrolled and discovered flat and gape-mouthed by yours truly the next morning.

......all but one chick......

There is one chick that I discovered one morning that looked dead, but in fact she was simply paralyzed. I discovered that her issue was with only one of her legs, so she couldn't stand up. At this point, I realized that if she were going to die, it would be of thirst or starvation because she couldn't get to her food. Normally, I would just euthanize a chick at this point, but for some reason I felt I should try to save her. So, every day I held her over the water dish so she could drink, then I'd set her in the food dish so she could eat at will for a few hours before I'd bring her back to the water. So this went for a week or two until I realized one day that she could stand up. Her leg hadn't healed, but she had learned how to use it to prop herself. It was stiff as a board and utterly useless except for one thing--to prop herself up and push herself forward. So, onward she went daily after that, strengthening herself and relearning agility that had once come naturally to her.

Though at a disadvantage, this gimpy pullet had made herself stand out. She manages to get her food, her water, and to forage outside with her friends. She walks noticeably different and cannot roost up high at night, but she reminds me of something important...

In my life, I've been downright steamrolled by insensitive people who plow me over. We have an enemy who wants to steal our breath, kill our spirit, and destroy our hope. Chances are, we will walk away from some battles wounded. Chances are, the enemy will win some fights. But a certainty is, we don't have to forfeit our breath, spirit, or hope. We can still speak the name of Jesus with a wounded heart. We can still be renewed day by day and have a fresh spirit instilled in us. We can always hope, because there is one who defeated even the grave.

When you are steamrolled over, I challenge you to use what remaining breath you have to say:"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release for the prisoners." -Isaiah 61:1. If you are oppressed, you are in good company. We, the wounded and gimpy-hearted are ripe for a renewal from the Sovereign Lord. He binds up the gimpy-hearted and sets us free from those who would hold us captive under a great weight. We, in turn can speak those words of encouragement to those who are still trapped as a testimony that our Lord rescued us when we were trapped.

The things that have hurt us may leave a scar...they may make us emotionally limp. That is not a weakness. A weakness is when you lay down and declare defeat.

I honor you, the gimpy-hearted, who are not afraid to show that you've been wounded and will continue to mingle with the rest of us living life. Thank you, all my friends, who bear your testimony as a badge of honor. Thank you for sharing your struggles and your pains. Is it not great that we serve a God who frees us? Is it not greater that we serve a God who heals us from trauma so that we can proclaim His faithfulness? Ah, Lord, to be made new often seems to not mean that we will be made like we were before our battle....but to be made better. Glory to You.

Bind my wounds. Set me free. Hallelujah.

The Footpath

"Make level paths for your feet and take only ways that are firm." -Proverbs 4:26

Behind my barn is a paddock that is fenced in with five exit gates from it that lead to three different pastures. One of the pastures is the main pasture that has the pond in it. This is the one that almost all of my animals eat from. The other two are supplementary and are used for keeping either infirm animals or pregnant ones or young ones I'm weaning from their mother.

From a goat's eye view, I would eat my morning grain and meander with the rest of the herd in a single file format through the gate that leads to the main pasture so that I could get my drink and begin grazing for the day. What's amazing about this mini-parade that occurs every day is that there is one long footpath that all of the goats and sheep follow that leads all the way to the rear of the pasture. From that path, they can break off into groups to begin grazing, but all of them follow the same straight commute to get there. Not one of them will set a foot off of that narrow path to get to where they're going.

That little road reminded me of that verse in Proverbs because one or more animals decided to separate that path from the rest of the land and it became over time "the way to go". That way has been tested through generations of livestock to be the firm and sure way to get to where they need to be.

Why do my goats and sheep follow the same path every day? Simple. It's proven. It's secure. Any building can be made, but all of them must sprout from a firm and sure foundation. If there were a path that led into some dark woods where a hungry coyote lurked and ate a goat every day, I am certain that that path would be quickly abandoned by the remaining livestock.

How much more should we only tread paths that have been proven to lead to where we will find blessing? Abandon all paths that lead to the Devourer. If there's some idiot sheep that insist on that path, abandon the sheep. Psalm 1 says,"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. Not so the wicked! (the idiot sheep) They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous. For the Lord watches over the way (footpath) of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish."

A wise man will tread the firm path and reap a long and prosperous life. The man that decides to follow the way of the rebellious will reap pretty much the opposite. Tread the firm path. Walk with the wise.

Guard Your Heart

On Memorial Day we rotated our animals to different pastures. We put our goats out front where the horses normally are and put the horses in the rear where the goats and sheep normally graze. Doing this improves both pastures since each type of animal will eat different types of plants based off of preference.

After rotation, we packed up in our truck and went to our neighbor's house. While we were gone, a thunderstorm broke out and I wanted to go home to check on the horses so that they'd know where to find shelter since they were in a field that was strange to them (yes, horses really aren't all that bright). I opened the barn door and my haflinger whinnied to greet me. I was happy to see the horses found shelter, but as she approached me I gasped in shock. She had a giant 8 inch gash across her shoulder! It was torn so deep it was into her muscle. I still don't know for certain what she cut herself on, but I know it must have been metal because it was such a clean, razor like cut.

We called our veterinary friends who worked on dogs, cats, alpacas, goats, etc., but they would NOT touch a horse. We groaned, as we knew we could not afford an equestrian vet. She needed stitches and we couldn't do it. I led her out of the barn and tied her to the bumper of the truck. My husband fed her treats while I took to the wound to clean it with a Q-tip. She fought and pawed the ground and tried to bite us as it obviously hurt her a lot.

In the end, all we could do was resign to help her fight infection. Our dear neighbor came down the next day to give us penicillin for her. For the next few days, we gave her shots of penicillin and cleaned and redressed her wound many times. Her wound began to close, but then she figured out how to chew her dressing off and that exposed the wound to flies. So, we were left to fight not only infection, but flies! Now, we are applying a special antibiotic gooey, sticky ointment that sticks like tar over the gash and then we spray a fly repellent around the entire area.

This made me ponder how when we are wounded in our hearts, how we and others ought to respond. When the wolves in this world smell our blood, they lust for it. Like vultures circling, many people will look to kick you when you're already down. Many people are more like an annoying fly that hover over your vulnerable areas and inadvertently spread their infections and lay their miserable eggs in you that give birth to more of themselves at your expense.

All we can do is make sure that WE are not the wolves, the vultures, or the flies and to guard ourselves against those who are. Apply the cleansing power of the Holy Spirit to your wounded areas. Jesus claimed he was our Comforter and Counselor. Put walls around your vulnerable areas to ward off the enemies of your wounds. However, these walls MUST be penetrable by those who can be trusted, as in those who can help apply the salve of the Holy Spirit and those who can help keep you cleaned and uninfected.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." -Proverbs 4:23

If our heart falters, we falter. The joy of the Lord MUST be our strength. He strengthens our ankles so they do not turn though we run on uneven ground.

When you are attacked and wounded, there is no shame in that. Wounded soldiers are regarded as heroes in war. Dear brother/sister in Christ, I give you now a Purple Heart for your bravery for making it thus far in life. Hallelujah, you still walk with your Lord because He is faithful. Guard your heart! Those wounds can be the death of you if you do not keep your heart clean and submitted to those who will help you. As my mare fought me and tried to "clean" her own wound by licking at it, your attempts to nurse your own wounds may indeed prove futile. You need help, and that's not an insult. Her attempts opened her wound further and left debris from her mouth in it. God did make man to be self-sufficient. Though it makes mention of marriage, God said,"It is not good for man to be alone." I believe that this is a call for the Body of Christ to also be unified so we might strengthen and encourage each other.

Let us, as Nehemiah and his fellow Israelites did, build the Wall around this City of God with one hand and firmly grasp our sword with the other. Above all else, GUARD YOUR HEART!